


I'm Trying My Hardest To Get It Right This Time Around

by Dragonpheonix19998



Series: The Next Generation [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/M, Harry Potter Next Generation, Homosexuality, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-20 13:06:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 32,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3651450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragonpheonix19998/pseuds/Dragonpheonix19998
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Good things #63: Change (even if you don’t see it as a good thing yet.) Foreign films. Big, old trees (ones that look like they’ve lived through all the hardships in life yet they’re still standing there, stronger than ever)</p><p>“Mr. Malfoy, the Potter family has asked us to inform you that Lily Potter has passed away yesterday.” Those wretched words tumbled out of her mouth like teardrops, splashing itself against the grimy dark floors of the cell. </p><p>Scorpius let the words curl itself into little tongues of regret and guilt at his feet, watching as it consumed his entire being. Gone. All gone. How smoothly it forms in the mouth. How lightly it falls off the tongue. How violently it dismantles the heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. She Stared At The Stars

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [High](https://archiveofourown.org/works/764747) by [Crollalanza](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crollalanza/pseuds/Crollalanza). 



Something very beautiful happens to people when their world has fallen apart. They watch as the pieces fall, desperately trying to grab a hand full of shards in an attempt to fit them back together again. Some might never realize how fruitless it is to struggle; for others, a humility, a nobility, a higher intelligence emerges at just the point when our knees hit the floor.

_In the end, we’ll all become stories. Make it a good one, yeah Scorps?_

* * *

Scorpius Malfoy could not remember the last time he had a visitor. Maybe it was months. Or weeks. Or days. He could not tell in this aphotic, dank space that he grudgingly called home. Home was a language that he had forgotten how to speak as he ran from people dressed in war and blood, armed with lighters and matchsticks ready to set the entire world aflame. Home used to have a heartbeat. It still does, but he could no longer locate it.

“Mr. Malfoy?”

His attention returned to the woman standing by the door of his cell. There were precisely four bars to her left and six bars to her right, he noted. Her face, was framed within the space of two greasy metal bars, stood out from the darkness.

“Mr. Malfoy, the Potter family has asked us to inform you that Lily Potter has passed away yesterday.” Those wretched words tumbled out of her mouth like teardrops, splashing itself against the grimy dark floors of the cell.

Scorpius let the words curl itself into little tongues of regret and guilt at his feet, watching as it consumed his entire being. It lapped at his fingers and crept up his trembling hands, hands that had memorized the texture of Lily Potter’s hand, the way her back arched into a tapered crescent moon, the vibrant red locks that they had tried too many times to bury themselves into. Gone. All gone. How smoothly it forms in the mouth. How lightly it falls off the tongue. How violently it dismantles the heart.

He did not feel himself collapse, grating an elbow and his head against the jaggard parts of the stone walls.

_You remind me of mornings. When you step outside and the air somehow feels fresher and crisper than during any other time of the day._

Her words echoed in his head, bouncing off the walls of his skull. They were slamming itself against his eardrums until he was drowning in reverberations. _Leave me._

“Are--are you alright, Mr. Malfoy?”

Leave me.

The Malfoy scion stared at the ridges of the wall, it seemed to shape its surface to contour the features of Lily Potter’s face. He blinked and the wall was back. Still the thought of her lifeless form crept back into his mind’s eye, in a peaceful slumber oblivious that decay awaited to feast on her. He pushed that vile thought out of mind and opened his eyes.

Crawling to the metal bar nearest to him, he peered at it like a doctor observing bacteria.

One. Two. A new scratch. Three.

By the time he got to two hundred and fifty, he forgot his visitor.

* * *

Somewhere across the strip of water separating Azkaban from the mainland, a girl was preparing to leave the country.

She had said her last goodbye. Or tried to. The word was stuck to the roof of her mouth, much like the way her tongue felt too heavy to be lifted.

Fighting the urge to turn back, she wiped the traitorous tears hastily with the back of her hand and continued to trudge forward. She liked mornings, they always seemed so crisp and fresh. She took a deep breath and grabbed the glowing crushed can that had been left intentionally for her, a Portkey to a new home.

A new beginning.

It sounded like a promise.


	2. Like They Were Pillows For Her Mind

**Nearly six months ago…**

_ Good things #1:  _ _ Haircuts (because change is always good). Being passionate, being spontaneous, being fun, being more than content. Listening to people talk about their travel stories. _

Under the erratic illumination of laser lights and bathing in the stench of cigarette smoke and alcohol, Scorpius Malfoy wondered whether he was already drunk when he agreed to attend the Potter-Weasley Christmas Eve party instead of Parkinson's Winter Ball. The loud music was jarring and the number of sweaty bodies rubbing up against each other was even worse. He was formally dressed, as if going for a dinner function, and the entire Potter-Weasley clan had sniggered at the sight of him outside the club. Albus Potter, the second oldest Potter scion, had taken one look at him and burst out laughing. Louis Weasley, the youngest of Fleur and Bill's brood who was now drunkenly molesting a couple of girls on the dance floor, had shook his head and clapped him on the back sympathetically before heading into the club.

"Come now Malfoy! We can't have you sitting there brooding about Rose." James Potter had strolled right up to Malfoy with two shot glasses in his hands. On a usual day Scorpius would not have bothered responding to the Potter's eldest son but a festive James was almost a different person.

Albus slumped down beside Scorpius, exhausted and sweaty. His hair was disheveled and he had tell tale lipstick stains on his white shirt collar. "I want one of those." He demanded, pointing at the glass James was holding.

"Here, you can have mine." James handed him the glass. “We must make sure Scorpius forgets who he is dating by daybreak.” 

"To getting so drunk, we forget ourselves!" Albus toasted Scorpius before downing the liquid within it. Scorpius did the same, throwing his head back so quickly it made him dizzy. The liquid burned its way through his esophagus and settled in his stomach.

James came back with a tray of those liquids in shot glasses. Albus and Scorpius helped themselves to another glass. In a moment, Louis had returned laughing and sweaty with two girls clinging to his side. He gave Scorpius a wink and took a glass. They each took a glass and downed it.

A couple more drinks along and Scorpius felt the speakers were playing a rhythm within his body too strong to resist. He stumbled forward and into the crowd. He danced with a couple of Muggle girls but lost interest almost as quickly. However, he was not one to decline a couple of suggestive sexual performances. He let the blond Muggle kiss him as she wrapped a leg around him. She cooed incomprehensible drunken promises of love and Scorpius scoffed at the idiocy. Promises were for children. 

"What's this?" He heard a sultry voice in the crowd. Through the haze of his alcohol infused mind, Scorpius struggled to identify the speaker, shifting through blurry faces in his mind to match the face in the crowd that was slowly descending upon him like a treacherous angel. All he knew was that she was stunning. Her hair was ablaze in the most shocking red he had ever seen and when it was lit by one of the laser lights, he thought he would go blind from the vibrancy. She came over slowly, like a predator circling its prey. The Muggle girls around him scattered, as if sensing the Queen of the Forest had made an appearance and staked her claim. "A Malfoy in the presence of Muggles? Oh the shame! Daddy would be so disappointed."

"Aren't you supposed to be home with the Empress Rose studying? Or better yet, attending one of your high society functions?" Lily teased, watching him closely. 

She rubbed the lapel of his jacket collar, smiling as his hand shot out to stop her. She had a carnal gleam in her eye as green met grey and both predators understood each other almost immediately. Instinctively, he pulled her close and pressed his lips to hers to cease all talking. She was fine with that. She responded by playfully nipping at his lip. Without letting her go, he led her to the center of the dance floor. 

They danced for a while longer and Lily led him to the bar in the corner and ordered more drinks. If she was going to drown tonight, she might as well be thorough with it. She tipped her head back and felt the last drops of liquid slide down her throat. Scorpius kept his arms around her waist and downed his drink just as quickly. Lily glanced at him and bestowed him with a glorious smile.

Lily threw back her head for another shot. Laughing and dragging him over to the dance floor again, she leaned in close as they danced to the deafening music. She could see his pale face during the short interluding flash of lights, this was the face that rendered even the best of minds incoherent, the face that smiled upon a thousand broken hearts. This was the face that her cousin, Rose Weasley, fell for. If she felt any guilt, she pushed it aside. She tilted her head and let rip a wild laugh. Laughing, she found, got easier and easier with each shot and each step. She let the music and alcohol take over her senses. Scorpius responded in kind, letting the rhythm bring out his flare for dancing. Lily eyed him appreciatively and took another shot, letting the alcohol fuel her recklessness. When she finally mustered up her courage, she leaned in close. 

"Let's get out of here." Lily shouted into his ear over the loud music. He smelled delicious—expensive cologne, salt and sandalwood. Yes, he would do.

Scorpius grinned at her, his mind heard a distant echo of a warning but he pushed it aside because the girl that was holding his hand had sapped away every rational thought from his body. He barely registered who she was as they hit the lit lobby outside the club. She took his hand and they clambered up flights of stairs, stopping to kiss each other every few steps, until they emerged on the roof of the building. The night air was as refreshing as it was a painful reminder of reality. Lily released her hold of the Malfoy scion's fingers and ran towards the edge of the building, ignoring his shouts.

"Come at me! Give me your worst!" Lily screamed into the night, ignoring the bone-chilling cold as she stood on the ledge of the roof. Lily refused to look down, keeping her eyes fixed on the barely visible constellations above. The stars above glittered, watching indifferently as a little girl threw her pride to the wind.

Scorpius wrapped his arms around her, pulling her off the ledge in into the warmth of his body. He took off his jacket and draped it over her bare shoulders. She wanted to refuse it but the cold had become unbearable in her strapless dress. She faced away from him lest he saw the tears that had pooled and spilled from her traitorous eyes.

"Let's go now." She whispered.

"Tell me where to go." He mumbled hazily. Lily searched through the list of homes open to her.

"Teddy's place." Lily smiled impishly. "I have a plan. First, we’re going to need your broom. You brought it with you here I’m guessing?"

Lily and Scorpius flew across London and landed outside Teddy Lupin's apartment. Scorpius had only been there once during their housewarming party but had left early. There were too little women of interest and too many Weasleys. Scorpius could only tolerate one Weasley at a time. Lily gave a loud yelp that sounded uncannily like her brother. The knocker looked at the intruders suspiciously. Scorpius turned to Lily to find the wild red hair receding back into her scalp and turning darker with each passing second, her dress was changing as well until the exact copy of his best mate was standing beside him. Albus, rather Lily, gave Scorpius a wink. He stumbled backward in shock but Lily had caught his arm and held him steady, her eyes flashed in warning. This was the plan, her eyes seemed to say but before she could explain the door was wrenched open.

"What the frick?" Teddy's deep voice could be heard from the doorway. He looked disheveled, his mousy brown hair mussed and his robe hastily thrown on. He glanced back inside. "Vic, it's ok. It's only Al and… Malfoy."

"Scorpius and I need a place to crash." Lily did her best impression of a drunken Albus. She stumbled onto Teddy, gripping the door frame for effect.

"Come on in Al." Teddy beckoned them into the house. "The guest bedrooms are to the right."

Lily and Scorpius stepped through. Lily made a show of falling to the floor, gagging. Then she rolled on the floor, laughing and choking on her spit. Scorpius’ mind was too unclear to manage a laugh, he resorted to staring at Lily’s poor performance of her brother. 

"Jeez Al, what would Ginny say if she saw you like this?" Teddy helped her up. If Teddy caught a whiff of Lily's perfume, he said nothing.

"That's why I'm not at home Ted." Lily muttered sarcastically and Teddy blinked once but shook it off almost as quickly. 

"Make yourself comfortable. I'm going back to bed." Teddy nodded at Scorpius and rolled his eyes at Lily before disappearing into the room on the other side of the house. "Try not to break anything or dirty the floor or Vic will disseminate us all in the morning." He disappeared into the master bedroom.

Lily pushed Scorpius into one of the available the guest bedrooms and leaned against the door, placing a finger to her lips. Lily listened carefully to any more footsteps from the room across the hall. Hearing none, she shifted back to her original self and locked the door. Scorpius watched as the black hair grew longer and lighter as Albus' features morphed into Lily's. It had been one the strangest night of his life. And they had barely started.

Lily grinned at him in the dark, her pale face illuminated by the moon outside the windows. Scorpius distantly remembered another redhead from a far off place but pushed it aside because he was standing before a goddess incarnate. He wondered vaguely why he had never seen her before until tonight. She peeled off his jacket and pulled the pins from her hair.

"Come Malfoy, let's see whether you live up to your reputation." Her eyes full of the challenge he was so unused to seeing. That was all it took for Scorpius to press her against the door and kiss her. She gave a soft breathy moan that had almost had him undone. She toyed with the buttons of his shirt, her other hand slowly trailing a crooked path downwards. Scorpius paused to watch her as she fumbled with the buttons on his dress robes. Grey met green and an unspoken consent was given. They stumbled backwards and onto the bed, hastily removing every article of clothing. Lily let him tug her dress to her knees in one motion, shivering as the exposed skin hit the cold air in the room but he pressed a kiss to every part of her body that he uncovered, silently assuring her in the best way he knew how. 

Scorpius laid her gently on the bed, which unnerved Lily. Lily pulled his head down toward her and pressed her lips against his roughly, letting her fingers lose themselves in his hair. His eyes met hers and another silent agreement was passed. They ensued their ministrations, tearing away at their undergarments until only bare skin was left. Their kisses became frantic, almost desperate. Lily squeezed her eyes shut. He held her like she was a goddess meant to be worshipped, snaking his arms around her and pressing kisses to her pulse points. Lily wanted so badly to believe it, that she—Lily Luna Potter—was enough for someone.

She held him close to her and he whispered sweet nothings as he kissed her. Emotions are not that hard to borrow when lust and alcohol are clouding one's mind.

"Don't turn on the lights." Lily said quietly, closing her eyes. No one was going to see her weep. Not tonight. Not ever. 


	3. And In Their Light She Could Rest Her Heavy Head

_Good things #2: Sitting on a park bench and listening to the wind rustling the tree leaves. Summer rain, and the sun shining through your half drawn blinds in the morning. Words that warm your heart._

Lily blinked rapidly to clear the disorientation along with her blurry vision. Scorpius was curled up beside her, an arm draped across her waist. She smiled. Her chest felt lighter than it did in weeks. She burrowed into his embrace, tucked her head under his chin and he pulled her closer instinctively. The sky outside grew dark in anticipation of the dawn that was about to break. Lily lay there, watching the December night pass. The moon had slowly made its way across the night sky in contrast to the rapid memories of the previous night rocketing around her mind. She did not sleep, contended to hear her companion doze while her mind drifted elsewhere.

His words kept repeating themselves in his head but the warm feeling in her stomach grew less pronounced. The bright glow of promise that those words held did not seem so special in the soft light that the dawn was casting on them. And as the rays of light crept back into the world, Lily’s thoughts grew more morose. She dreaded the daylight that was going to expose her for the asinine girl she truly was.

The blond lying next to her was snoring lightly, his hair was the messiest she had ever seen it. She felt a tinge of childish pride at being able to reduce the usually proud, orderly Malfoy into such a state. But her pride was quickly overshadowed by shame and guilt and she could not bear to look at the mess she made any longer. So much for Gryffindor bravery, she thought somberly.

Lily got up slowly, lest she woke Malfoy from his slumber, and buried her face in her hands. She could faintly see the spots of blood on the sheets that were tangled around their legs and quickly folded it under the unstained ones. She imagined Victoire Weasley cleaning the sheets in a few hours from now and wished that her cousin could scorgify away her shame as easily as she could with the blood on the sheets. Lily sighed. It was done. She slipped on her underwear and last night’s party dress quickly.

“If I’m going to be the next Minister of Magic, I would need a girlfriend who doesn’t get excited at a box of chocolate frogs.” Derek Locks had said after requesting for a break up. He gave her a pointed look like she should have known this was coming all along. Maybe she had. But she was far too busy relishing the praise that the press had been showering on her in her choice of companion. They had failed to mention amongst his great Quiddich achievements and academic prowess that he was a manipulative bastard and a hoax. He had simply taken her, used her for all she was worth and cast her aside like an old quill or an old book. She was just a tool in his hands, nothing more. Lily expelled his laughing face from her mind’s eye. She had promised herself never to be used ever again and yet here she was, preparing to make a quick escape after throwing away her pride and dignity in the worst way imaginable.

She caught her reflection in the full-length mirror by the bed. In the darkness, she did not look quite as stunning as she thought she did when she donned on this particular dress. Somehow, she felt like it had left a black mark on her skin the moment she had taken it off for Scorpius Malfoy. She spotted his coat on the floor and snatched it from its place; he would not miss this, considering he had so many others to replace it. She glanced back at him to make sure he had not woken. She opened the door, cringing at the click it made seemed to echo across the room and throughout the hall. Another deafening click later, she tiptoed her way across the hallway, peeped into the kitchen and grabbed a few bottles of Butterbeer and tiptoed out of Teddy’s apartment with Scorpius’ broom in hand.

The streets of Muggle London were deserted as she flew over it. She was shivering despite having wrapped herself in Malfoy’s coat. It was as if the world was chastising her for her actions. She flew on. Hyde Park was just ahead. She needed to clear her mind. _I’ve got to find myself someone who can help me in my career._ His words kept circling her subconscious and conscious mind, taunting her, snickering at her. Lily settled into a park bench and let slip a few tears. But she blinked them away quickly.

* * *

Scorpius awoke in an unfamiliar place. The room was painted a pleasant baby blue that matched the blue drapes that were letting a few shards of sunlight into the room. He glanced around the room and groaned. He had done it again. Rose was going to kill him. At least he woke up alone. He tried to get up but his head was pounding so badly, he could hardly lift himself onto his elbows. He fell back down onto the bed. Those Muggle drinks were potent, he thought soberly. He could hardly remember last night except that calculated kiss Rose had given him on his way out of the door. She had asked more than three times on separate occasions whether she was invited to the Parkinson’s Christmas Eve Ball. But the Parkinson family still harbored ill feelings toward Rose’s parents for incriminating the elder Parkinsons for their participation in the rebellion almost twenty five years ago and were adamant that Scorpius bring another date. Scorpius was not foolish enough to tell Rose that. He had resorted to answering that he was not going for the Ball and had decided to spend time with Albus instead. It seemed like a good idea then rather than to have Rose rave and scream and make a scene.

He turned to his side and his nose nudged something stiff. He opened one eye and saw the strange patch on the linen that he had come into contact with. His mind buzzed, trying to figure out what it was and the conclusion he came to made him jolt upright. Blood. He checked himself for cuts.

Then he remembered red hair and green eyes. He slapped a hand to his head and groaned. No. NO! Not again! He tried to bring her face into being but it kept eluding his mind as if he were trying to grasp a fish in water. For the first time since he woke up, he wondered where he was.

A loud knock sounded at the door. He jumped out of bed despite his throbbing head threatening to split itself open any moment. He searched around for his wand and his clothes that were scattered around the room. His coat was missing and he checked under the bed and beneath the sheets twice but it had disappeared just as the green-eyed vixen had vanished.

“Malfoy!” A male voice beyond the door was calling out his name angrily. Scorpius muttered cleaning spells in between the string of expletives he let loose. When he was satisfied with the clean sheets and hastily made bed, he opened the door to admit the Metamorphagus.

Teddy Lupin entered the threshold, dressed in a shirt and tattered jeans with electric blue hair spiked up. He looked like he was preparing for a rock concert, it was a stark contrast to last night’s almost domesticated appearance. Scorpius thought he looked ridiculous but he bit down a rude remark.

Teddy had given him a withering look and searched the room before settling his gaze back to the blond. Scorpius leaned against the doorframe casually, meeting Teddy’s furious gaze with cool nonchalance he did not feel. Why Scorpius had chosen Teddy Lupin’s house to crash for the night was a unfathomable. Why Teddy Lupin had allowed him to stay seemed to be the million-dollar question presently.

“Where is Albus?” Teddy asked, watching him closely. Scorpius frowned for a second before rearranging his face into a mask of disinterest.

“How am I supposed to know?” Scorpius returned his frosty gaze. “I just woke up with no recollection of what happened last night. I should be the one asking questions.”

Teddy opened his mouth as if going to argue something but stopped as a hand appeared, curling itself around his arm. Scorpius attempted to push past the lanky blue haired man but walked straight into a blond. Scorpius stared at her for a moment before blinking a few times. Victoire Weasley, who looked like an angel intent on redeeming mankind, held a vial of purple potion between her slim fingers. Why she chose the brute beside her to be her husband was beyond Scorpius.

“Here,” she handed the vial to him, giving him a sympathetic smile. “You might remember better if you feel better.”

Victoire’s crystal blue eyes searched Scorpius’ face for a moment. “Why don’t I make you breakfast? And we can talk about what you remember. Lily Potter, Albus’ sister, has gone missing last night and no one has seen her since. We were wondering if you knew where she was.”

“You came in here with Albus. But Albus is at home recuperating from his hangover.” Teddy glared, the accusation clear in his violet eyes as he followed his wife and Scorpius into the kitchen. “So why don’t you cut to the chase and tell us what happened with Lily?” Victoire cleared her throat and Teddy’s mouth drew into a grim line in response to the pointed look Victoire shot him.

“This is pointless. I did not see her. I don’t even know what she looks like.” Scorpius’ hands were curled into fists at his side, yet he maintained a cool indifference that made Teddy want to punch him.

“I believe him.” Victoire said simply. She reached out to clasp her husband’s hand and squeezed it tightly within hers. Teddy looked away from Scorpius to bestow a cringe worthy look of adoration on Victoire. It was an expression that looked misplaced with the rest of Teddy’s physical appearance. Scorpius had to fight down the urge to hurl in the brightly lit kitchen. It was still too early for such displays of affection.

“You know how potent those muggle drinks are, love.” Victoire added.

“Al wouldn’t have left Scorpius here and Disapperated home.” Teddy insisted stubbornly. He sat down on one of the kitchen chairs and took a huge gulp of his coffee. Victoire’s potion was starting to take effect and Scorpius felt much better. He was about to take his leave of the Lupin family but the familiar loud crackling of flames stopped him.

Three raven head men appeared in the tiny kitchen of the Lupin household, followed closely by a woman with flaming red hair. She may be the smallest amongst present company but by far the most intimidating, particularly since her maternal instincts were in overdrive worrying for her youngest cub. She spotted Scorpius Malfoy in the kitchen and her expression turned icy. Scorpius could almost feel her accusation writing itself across his forehead.

“Any news?” Ginny Potter inquired anxiously, turning to the Lupin family. A closer look revealed the matriarch of the Potter family had dark circles under her red-rimmed eyes. Harry Potter, the famous Boy Who Lived, had an arm around his wife. James did not bother acknowledging Scorpius and moved to the corner where he could lean against the small island table in the center. Albus walked over to stand beside Scorpius. Scorpius gave a small nod in response to Albus’ inquiring gaze.

“I strongly suspect Lily to have come by here last night.” Teddy told the Potters, giving Scorpius a sharp look and four sets of eyes shift from Teddy to Scorpius. “She dropped Malfoy off and disappeared again.”

Harry’s brows furrowed. Ginny pulled out her wand. Albus was faster, he cast a protego shield between the two of them and the rest of the Potter family. Ginny glared at her second son. James’ wand was out, pointing at Scorpius. The moment the shield charm lifted, James would have hexed Scorpius into the next century.

“Now, there is no need for this Ginny. Let us settle this calmly.” Harry stood in between Ginny and the shield charm. He gave James a pointed look over the top of Ginny’s head.

“Move aside Harry, I want to know what he did with my daughter.” Ginny growled.

“This is not going to help us find Lily, Mum.” Albus reasoned.

“Exactly. What do you remember of last night, Scorpius?” Harry asked, turning to face the Malfoy. His green eyes held neither judgment nor suspicion. He looked tired and disheveled as he had spent the entire scouring the streets for his daughter. His glasses were askew but it did nothing to shield the bright green eyes that were hauntingly familiar. Scorpius forced that thought aside immediately. It was a ludicrous possibility, he tried to convince himself.

“The better question is: what has it got to do with Scorpius?” Another voice entered the cramped kitchen. Scorpius stiffened. His ginger girlfriend marched into the room, her hair tamed into a bun on the top of her head. Rose Weasley had a business-like demeanor about her that could capture the attention of the entire room, which she was presently using to command the spotlight. Behind her the pale and sickly Hugo Weasley, her younger brother, hurried in.  

“Lily dropped him off here and left.” Teddy repeated patiently to the newcomers. Hugo looked horrified. He turned on Scorpius, accusation clear in his brown eyes.

Rose narrowed her eyes. “She’s up to something.” Rose whipped around to face Scorpius. “What happened last night?”

“I’ll say this one more time. I. Do. Not. Remember.” Scorpius emphasized each word, enunciating it carefully. He glared at present company, lingering on Teddy, Rose and Hugo. Hugo was silently glowering at Scorpius. What was the Muggle saying? If looks could kill? Scorpius would have been a puddle of blonde goo on the floor.

“I don’t believe him.” Hugo declared in a high reedy voice. Rose, who paid no attention to the accusations, was silently observing the blond from the entrance of the kitchen. Scorpius stood proudly under the feral gazes of the Potter clan and Rose felt suspicion and anger fester within her.

“I do.” Albus stepped forward, placing a hand on Scorpius’ shoulder. “But bickering about this would not help us search for Lily. Teddy said she left him here and left again, she should be wandering around the area.”

“She could not have gone far.” Harry nodded, rubbing his wife’s arm.

“Unless someone had captured, tortured or killed her already.” Ginny snapped. Harry placed a kiss to her temple, his hand never ceasing in it’s comforting kneading of her upper arm, its gentle motions had Ginny Potter undone for she buried her face in her husband’s neck to hide the distraught tears. Scorpius had to look away. Even James had nothing sarcastic or humorous to say.

“Let’s spread out to look for her.” Harry suggested after a moment. “A clean sweep over the perimeter of the area. Report back in an hour.” He instructed the rest of the Potter family, Hugo and Teddy. Rose had taken the opportunity to step away from her uncle’s view. “Victorie, stay here in case she gets back. We communicate by patronus.” Then, he turned to the Malfoy scion. “Scorpius, you can join our search if you’re not too tired. I wouldn’t hold it against you if you don’t.”

Scorpius eyed the Boy Who Lived, wondering if there was going to be a caveat he was going to add. But he said nothing.

“I need to get back.” Scorpius finally said, looking at Albus who nodded. Harry gave him an understanding smile.

Albus lifted the shield charm after much assurance of Scorpius’ safety from curses, hexes and jinxes. Then one by one, the Potter family, Teddy and Hugo left to search for the Potter heiress. Scorpius hurried out of the apartment feeling nauseous, he had seen enough displays of affection to last him the entire week. Rose followed him. The air around them electrified with so much tension, it was a surprise neither of them had combusted yet.

They lingered in the dark emergency stairwell and neither girl nor boy made a motion to speak. Scorpius was about to Disapparate back home but her hand shot out and stilled him. Rose’s blue eyes searched his grey ones, judging and calculating.

“What exactly happened last night?” Rose asked.

Scorpius did not drop his gaze, instead his stare became almost savage. “I partied.”

Rose did not speak, but her wand was working fast in her pocket. Scorpius felt her search his mind, pushing her way through the fog of alcohol to retrieve his memories. Rose had barely gotten to the dancing Muggle girls before Scorpius cast a shield charm that slammed her into the railings. Rose got up and glared at him.

“I would have told you the truth.” Scorpius bit out.

“Would you?” Rose shot back.

“Yes, if you had only waited.”

“So what happened?” Her face was a faded pink, scrunched up in fury and disappointment. “Tell me!”

Scorpius took a deep breath. “I slept with someone.”

* * *

 Albus patrolled around the western perimeters of Hyde Park, searching for somewhere Lily might be. He chanced upon a playground not far from Kensington Palace and headed there. The playground had a wooden ship in the middle of the sandbox and a closer look would reveal a few Red Indian tents in the corner. A girl with burgundy hair whipping around her face sat atop the stern, her feet dangling off the edge, she had a bottle of Butterbeer beside her. Albus walked right up to the edge of the ship, if the girl noticed his arrival, she did not react.

“Permission to enter the vessel?” Albus called out to her.

Lily tore her gaze from the cloudy skies to glance down at her brother. Her eyes were filled with unshed tears. She nodded. Albus climbed his way onto the stern and sat beside her. Lily looked at him and sighed. Albus wrapped an arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder.

“Are you cold?” Albus asked. He conjured a large woolen coat and wrapped it around his sister without waiting for her reply. He conjured boots and warm socks on her feet, replacing the heels that she had worn the previous night. They sat there, sipping the remains of Butterbeer Lily had smuggled. Albus lit a cigarette.

“I’m in trouble aren’t I?” Lily asked. She took the cigarette from his lips. Albus gave her a pointed look but let her have it. She inhaled deeply before letting out a puff of pink smoke. Albus rolled his eyes.

“Don’t let Mum know I’ve been letting you smoke.” Albus chuckled. “Mum is going to blow an artery and Dad’s worn out. You gave us all quite a scare.”

“I can imagine. Let them know I’m safe, will you?” Lily glanced up at the remains of pink smoke in the grey sky. “I would like to stay here for a while more.”

Lily watched as Albus’ tiger patronus soared through the air and disappeared into the frosty Christmas morning. “What do they think I’ve done now?” She gave a small smile.

“Left Scorpius at Teddy’s and left again. Why you would do it is beyond any of us.”

“I found him alone and thought he needed a place to stay for the night.” Lily said after a while.

“And left? Why didn’t you come home?”

“I needed to think.” Lily said stoically.

They were silent for a while. Lily watched as the puffs of smoke danced in the wind. Derek Lock’s face appeared in her mind’s eye. He was laughing as the snow dotted his dark curly head. He turned to her and the joyous laughter sounded almost in mocking. Stop, please stop, she thought in desperation.

“Al, I’ve been so stupid!” Lily buried her face in her hands and let out a sob. Albus pulled her tighter to him.

“I’ve been so naive to think that Derek was nice. He was only using me Al. Because of Dad. Because of Aunt Hermione and Uncle Percy. I’ve been so stupid.” Lily’s body shook with the force of her sobs. “So stupid… So so stupid…” Lily muttered over and over.

Albus remembered holding Lily when they were younger, Lily had been crying because Rose and Molly had been calling her Mystique, a mutant from a Muggle show called X-Men, accusing her of being the enemy. Then Ginny had burst in, threatening to punish Lily for turning Rose and Molly’s face green and full of warts. The nine year old Albus had comforted Lily, holding her and rubbing her back, the seventeen year old Albus did the same now. When Lily looked up, he saw the seven year old Lily peering up at him.

“Am I that thick, Al?” She asked. It was almost a whisper but Albus heard it all the same.

“No, Lil, you’re not. Locks is a wanker and if he knows what’s good for him, he’s going to hide his pretty face before I hex him into oblivion.” Albus’ voice shook with suppressed anger.

He wanted to turn Locks into his personal dart board. Ten points for hitting his chest. Fifty points for hitting his weiner. But he didn’t say any of that to his sobbing sister. Instead, he fell back into silence and sat with her until she was ready to go home.

* * *

 Lily was in a nervous state all week and all through the New Year’s Eve gathering that Saturday. She wondered what Scorpius had said to Rose. What could he remember? He surely could not have remembered everything. She had not looked like herself usual self that night. But they knew she was with him. Lily shook her head to clear her thoughts.

“Lily?” Hugo called out. Lily ignored him. Hugo had not given her a moment’s rest from the moment she had gone back to Teddy’s apartment until now. He had hounded her and kept repeating versions of “I told you so” at every given opportunity.

Lily leaned back against the wooden structure of the Burrow. She was sitting rather comfortably on one of the various roofs of the house, a bottle of Firewhisky on the even surfaces of the roof and a cigarette between her slim fingers. She spotted James setting up fireworks in the backyard with Fred Weasley. She wished Albus was around. She was tired of James’ overprotective attitude over the past week. He and Teddy had gone and hexed Derek Locks. Her father had pulled a few strings and fired him from his junior officer position in the Ministry of Magical Law. Her mother had given her a long lecture on responsibility, setting a curfew and refusing to allow her out of the house unless she was accompanied by her cousins and brothers.

“I can’t believe it!” Lily cringed at the voice. The lights in the room behind Lily flickered on, bathing the space beside her in a bright yellow glow. Lily shifted away from it and rested her head against the exterior of the house.

“I’ve asked about this New Years Party since November and all he said was ‘it’s an invite only’. Bullocks! Sean McCarthy invited Hannah Newman to the party! She was asking me what dress robes to wear!” Rose was livid, Lily could hear her pacing the room behind her. She crept as close as she could to the open window, willing Rose to say more.

“Have you spoken to him about it?” Roxanne asked.

“Not exactly, he’s been very quiet all week. But he’s got no reason to be angry with me. He was the one who cheated.” Lily froze at this. The Firewhisky bottle stilled on it’s path to her lips. If Rose knew, why wasn’t she trying to curse Lily into oblivion? Was this some new trick to torture Lily into insanity?

“And you forgave him for it?” came a quiet reply.

“Stop being so judgmental. Don’t pretend you haven’t made mistakes in your life.” Rose snapped.

They were silent for a while. Lily tried not to breathe too hard and pressed herself closer to the wall lest they decide to look out of the window.

“What if he’s losing interest?” Rose’s voice was barely a whisper. “If he wanted sex, I could have given it to him. You know what? I’m going to take the lead here. I’ll do it with him. Maybe then he’ll see me as a proper girlfriend.”

“I don’t know what you all see in Malfoy really.” Roxanne said. Lily wondered the same thing. What Albus and Rose saw in Malfoy seemed to slip past her as well. Besides the sharp features and lean body, Lily saw nothing special in him.

“What is there not to like?” Rose asked. “Anything is better that this shitehole here.”

There was silence in the room once more. Then Lily heard a shout from below. The fireworks had exploded into green, red and yellow flames. Lily could make out shouts and screams from below before a loud voice overshadowed all others.

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? ARE YOU SUICIDAL FRED? I TOLD YOU NOT TO STEAL THE TEST PRODUCTS FROM MY LABORATORY! THEY ARE IN THERE FOR A REASON! EVEN RON WOULD NOT HAVE DONE SOMETHING THIS STUPID!” George shouted at his son, his hands flailing about.

“I need to go check on them.” Roxanne’s voice was already fading. Rose seemed to have left shortly after for the light on the roof outside went out. Lily sat there huddled in the corner, watching the shouting match between father and son.

“YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN ME AS ANYTHING MORE THAN A REPLACEMENT FOR YOUR TWIN. WELL, I’M TIRED TO TRYING TO LIVE UP TO THOSE UNREALISTIC STANDARDS!” Fred’s hands shot up as he stomped away.

“DON’T YOU WALK AWAY! THIS CONVERSATION IS NOT OVER YET!” George could be heard yelling as Fred stalked into the house, ignoring Roxanne and Angelina’s shouts.

Lily decided to climb off the roof and enter the yard where Ginny was giving James a lecture on playing with products that were not tested safe yet. She sat down beside her father. Harry placed an arm around her, silently wishing that he could do something to take away the pain that seemed to be taking the life out of his youngest child.

“Oh there you are Lily!” Ron grinned at her. “Don’t worry about that bastard Locks, we’ll settle him for you. Right Harry?”

“Despicable.” Percy agreed, peering at them over the top of the Prophet.

“Oh right, where is Albus, eh?” Ron asked, scratching his head.

“At a Greengrass party.” Harry responded. He could almost sense the string of biased hatred gathering itself in Ron’s head.

“Isn’t that dead Greengrass woman married to Malfoy? That lying rich nancy.” Ron paused, searching for his daughter. Then he spoke again, this time louder. “Rosie has told me all about the Malfoy spawn she is in love with, haven’t you Rose? For all the brains she inherited from her mother, she’s barmy at choosing a proper boyfriend.”

“Yes.” Rose agreed. The company gathered in the small kitchen were silenced. “I suppose I inherited Mum’s ineptitude for picking a good boyfriend. Wasn’t that why she left you, Dad?”

The entire kitchen was stunned into immobility and watched as Rose threw a handful of floo powder into the flames and disappeared with the green flames.


	4. But She Buried Her Ear Into The Calm Of His Heartbeat,

_Good things #3: New things, like the new year and learning new words. The feeling of belonging somewhere. The way white noise kind of sounds like waves crashing against the shore. Empty pages of a new book and being able to find inspiration everywhere you look. Beginnings. Ends. Now._

Lily Potter pressed her face against her new diary, trying to commit its woody scent into memory. The words she had just penned onto the page clung onto her, going so far as to stamp themselves onto the tip of her nose. She closed her eyes and pictured her Uncle Bill’s beach cottage in the summer, trying to recall the smell of salt and the way the waves seemed to be lapping up at the sand.

Lily loved taking long walks on that strip of beach at dawn, with only the sound of seagulls and waves as her company. She would sit on a rock and watch the sunrise and the waves going out to welcome it. She always thought it was so terribly beautiful, the way the ocean never stopped kissing the shoreline, no matter how many times it was sent away.

She rested her head against the window stills, pulling her knees closer to her chest. The snow that had fallen the night before left the entire world outside in a sheet of white and Lily wanted desperately to be buried underneath that white veneer. Perhaps like her diary, she would be able to get a fresh start. A blank slate.

Her eyes flew to the polished black broom beside her own mahagony one. It stood out against the rest of her furniture, very much like its owner, gave the entire room an air of danger. It reminded her of flying through the frost bitten December morning with his coat draped over her shoulders. In spite of herself, Lily relished it.

“Albus Severus Potter!” Ginevra Potter hollered from the hall. “Lily Luna Potter! You’d better come down for breakfast this instant.”

Her eyes snapped open and darted toward the door.

Lily added the brooms into her bursting trunk, hastily throwing more clothes over them to conceal the other broom before snapping it close. It took two tries before she was successful, involving her unglamorous sprawl across the top of her trunk in an attempt to force it shut.

It was then that Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived otherwise known as Dad, decided to pop his head into her room.

“Ready, O daughter of mine?” he grinned at her. The Auror had taken to smuggling Renaissance plays from his fifteen year old daughter’s room. Shakespeare. Webster. Marlowe.

“Just wanted to make sure I packed everything.” She put her quill behind her ear.

“It’s all right, if you forget anything we could send it over.” Harry said as he entered her room and sat at the end of her bed. Harry was silent for a moment, trying to find the right words that would take the newfound sadness from his daughter’s eyes. But he knew he couldn’t. So he resorted to the next best thing. “I want you to know that I’m very proud of you, Lily Potter, and who you’ve grown into.”

Lily stood silent for a moment before walking over to her father to give him a hug. Harry responded in kind, embracing his youngest, he remembered the first time he held her in a hospital room in St. Mungos. She had a pink face that was scrunched up and had a tuff of bright red hair, his first red head child, he remembered marveling to himself. And when she opened her tiny eyes, it was bright green, just like his mother’s eyes, just like his eyes. McGonagall had even mentioned at Lily’s Christening that she was going to grow into the likeness of his mother Lily Evans.

It was years before he knew his daughter was a Metamorphagus. Ginny had found her sitting by Albus’ bedside with hair in a dark shade of brown, her eyes a dark hazel. At first they thought it was her magic that was manifesting itself but later realized Lily could turn into anyone she wanted. Ginny had the worst time parenting James and Lily, Harry had to admit, especially when Lily pretended to be James and set the shed at the Burrow on fire. They never knew who did what exactly but knew one of them had done it.

Lily kept the mahogany shade of hair and hazel eyes. Harry wondered many times whether naming his children after people he loved had taken a toil on them. It definitely did with Albus. Perhaps, Lily too was trying to establish an identity for herself apart from her two namesakes. He wanted to address this issue but Lily spoke up as if answering his mental thoughts.

“I’ll be fine, Dad,” Lily whispered. “No need to worry about me.”

“But that’s my job, Lil, I’ll always worry about you.”

Lily grinned at her father and they left her room and went for breakfast.

* * *

 The first week of January saw Ginny and Harry sending the schooling children off at Kings Cross Station. Percy had an urgent meeting he had to attend at work, Ron was busy with George’s shop and Hermione was not in town. Ginny and Harry hugged Rose, Hugo, Molly and Lucy as they did with their own children, promising to see them at the end of the term, during the graduation ceremony. And as the train whistle blew a second time, Ginny hurried them all into the train.

“Take care of yourselves! Don’t get into anymore trouble this term!” Ginny called before her children’s faces hurtled away from her view. Harry rolled his eyes at the heads sticking out and raised a hand for a wave.

“Only amateurs get caught, right Mum?” Lily managed a smile and winked at her mother before ducking her head back into the train. Her best friend, a fifth year Slytherin, Natasha Teo, rolled her eyes.

Nat was a muggleborn and like Hermione Granger of her father’s generation, was the top of her year, Quiddich Captain and school prefect. She had figured out how to connect her muggle electronic devices to something Nat called a wifi. Lily had no clue what Nat was on about most of the time, but she knew Nat was as good as it gets when it came to friends.

“Let’s go find an empty compartment.” Nat suggested, pulling her purple luggage forcefully through the corridor and ignoring how Hugo Weasley kept tripping over it. “I want to hear about your holidays.”

“Oh it’s been insane. Too much drama for my liking.”

“Lily tired of drama? Who are you and what have you done to my best friend?” Nat teased. Lily smacked her lightly on the arm.

“Well, there isn’t much, I’ve told you the important bits on the telephone.” Lily said.

“You know the telephone is an ancient device, right?” Nat gave Lily a look. “And I only use it to speak to you.”

“Well, I’m sorry if us magical folk are not as advanced as you muggles.”

Nat rolled her eyes, she had given up trying to educate Lily on muggle technological developments since her second year.

“Do you want the compartments at the far end Lily?” Hugo asked, clearing his throat. “Those with the tables?”

“Any compartment is fine really.”

“What do you think Flitwick is going to do this semester to prepare us for the O.W.L.s Lily? Do you think he would be able to predict the examinations after so many years of teaching?”

Nat made an impatient sound. And a small furry head popped out from her hoodie before disappearing into the folds of fabric. She patted the lump in her jacket as if comforting it.

“I wouldn’t know. I wish I did though.”

“What strange topics do you think Trelawny would set us this term?”

“I don’t know Hugo. We’ll find out soon enough won’t we?”

They came across a compartment with Albus, Rose and Scorpius within it. Rose was fussing around Scorpius’ hair and his homework. Albus looked disgusted and he stood up to open the compartment door the moment he saw Lily pass.

“Lil! Come in and sit with us. I doubt you would find an empty compartment. Mostly everyone has left for Christmas.” Albus called out. Nat gave Lily a pointed look. Hugo looked hesitantly at his sister.

“Oh alright then.” Lily sighed. “Thanks Al.” She followed in after the other two fifth years. Scorpius didn’t acknowledge them as they came in. Rose, on the other hand, eyed the newcomers with distaste.

Lily sat between the window and Albus and rested her head against the cool glass. She could feel herself buzzing with anticipation. Hugo sat next to his sister and busied himself with proof reading his Herbology essay. Nat sat opposite Lily and had plugged in her earphones, listening to one of her muggle songs and the only phrase Lily could catch were “no more mister nice guy” and nothing else. Lily wondered how Nat had not gone deaf yet, she was always blasting strange loud music into her ears.

"I heard about the heartbreaking break up between the star student of Hogwarts and our perfect Lily Potter. Did he finally see sense or did you happen to blow it up with your limited edition exploding snap cards?" Rose smirked at Lily.

"Rose..." Scorpius warned. He watched Lily intently but the girl with burgundy hair did not move an inch. He wasn’t the only one because Nat caught the look of pain cross Lily’s face for a moment and her eyes darted toward Rose.

Before Rose could get another jab in, Nat stood up as if to straighten her skirt, instead she punched Rose squarely in the nose and broke it.

"Who the hell do you think you are? This is assault!" Rose threatened as blood gushed out.

“Honestly, I’m surprised you even know what assault means, I thought you spent more time studying the male anatomy.”

"Nat..." Lily sighed. Nat merely gave a cold laugh that drowned Rose’s indignant spluttering.

Rose was about to say something else when a toy sheep, the size of a cup, crawled her way out of Nat’s hoodie pocket and stuck her tongue out at Rose and disappeared again.

Nat patted the lump in her hoodie while the entire compartment stared at her in confusion. Except Lily. She had seen Nat’s troop of toys living inside her purple suitcase. She had even become fairly acquainted with some. Even the Daleks, who protected the luggage from intruders and could only yell “EXTERMINATE”.

Nat unzipped her bag, pulled out a packet of tissues and threw it at Rose, who caught it in her left hand. “Why don’t you go get yourself cleaned up, blood doesn’t look flattering on you. Then again, nothing does.”

"I'm going to dock points for that." Rose threatened but Nat had plugged in her earphones again and pulled out her laptop. Rose made a move to pull out her wand but Albus placed a hand on her arm.

"Enough Rose." Albus said in an even voice.

Rose glared at Albus. "I'm going to patrol the train. Scorpius, join me."

“I think you can handle the students just fine on your own Rose.” Scorpius piped up. “Besides, I’ve got homework to catch up on.”

“Hugo, come with me.” Rose ordered.

Hugo scrambled to stow away his essay and brother and sister left the compartment. Scorpius scanned Lily's features, particularly her eyes. She looked up and met his gaze with a pair of hazel eyes and Scorpius almost melted with relief.

"Did you hear about the uprising?" Albus asked, eying the Prophet lying abandoned on the seat. A group of rioters in Diagon Alley were pictured, the figures were roaring with anger, waving fists and banners.

"Yeah. A campaign for 'equality' of sorts. They've been trying to shut whatever charities we own down."

"That's rubbish! What have any of you done?"

"Apparently being rich is a sin nowadays too."

"Whole lot of bollocks that is." Albus declared angrily. "Some crazy wizard or witch is trying to stir fear and hatred again. It's as if these people resent being free from fear."

"Well, we do host fabulous exclusive balls." Scorpius smirked. "That bird you were snogging looked hot."

Albus looked away. "Speak for yourself. Rose thinks you slept with someone on Christmas Eve." Lily tensed momentarily before feigning nonchalance.

"I did." Lily's eyes shot up but he did not return her stare.

"No wonder Rose is in such a state."

"Mmm... Could've been worse, eh?" Scorpius glanced out of the window for a while before his gaze landed on Lily. She felt like a trapped animal, caught and ready to be slaughtered.

Then a tinkling voice cried “Sheepy!” and Lily looked down to see a small toy sheep crawling up her arm to perch on her shoulder. Scorpius and Albus both stared at the toy.

“Doesn’t that give you the creeps?” Albus asked his sister.

“No, I helped charm them to life.” Lily defended the sheep who crossed her little arms and was glaring at Albus. She stuck her tongue out at him and turned to press her face against the window.

Albus and Scorpius resumed their conversation on the news before Hugo burst in, he had a nasty gash across his forehead.

"There was this fourth year who brought a fanged frisbee and was playing with it. I confiscated it Lily."

“And got into a fight I presume.” Albus sighed. “Come on Hugo, let’s go clean you up.”

Albus took Hugo’s thin arm and proceeded to guide him down the length of the train to the washrooms. Nat looked disgusted as she unplugged her earphones.

“Well, this has been fun but I’m definitely not sticking around for Hugo to tell you his great adventure battling a fourth year.” She placed her laptop back into her bag. “I’m going to look for Kavitha, see if she has some space for me.”

The moment Nat had closed the compartment doors, the air in the compartment grew noticeably thicker.

“Anything to fess up to Baby Potter?” drawled the blond.

She stood up, ready to leave. But he blocked her way. She stepped away from him, the memory of his body pressed intimately against hers was still fresh in her mind. He watched her carefully.

"I suspected it was you." He said, grey eyes boring into her hazel ones. Lily raised her eyebrow.

“Oh really? I remember you pissed drunk, Malfoy, you couldn’t tell friend from foe. Remind me, what do you remember again?”

“Nothing concrete. But I can put the pieces together fairly well.”

Lily observed him for a minute. “And that led you to conclude it was me?”

“Anyone would have assumed so if they had seen the guilt on your face when I mentioned Christmas Eve.”

“Don’t lie to me.” Lily whispered, shaken.

“Why would I lie to you? I’m not the one with secrets here.” He looked at her pointedly.

Scorpius waited for it. He waited for her to probe his mind, delve into what little he remembered of the night before but she did not. She stared hard at him then at the space behind him.

“Fine.” It was clipped. Scorpius thought he heard wrong.

“So was it you?”

“Yes.” Lily stared at the carpeted ground. “But please don’t tell anyone. It was a mistake. We didn’t mean to.”

A shadow passed across his face and Scorpius felt unreasonable anger well up within him. Lily was ashamed of him. In her eyes, he was a mistake. Scorpius fought the urge to spite her and shout it out to the world that she had slept with him. Let her feel the shame. Mistake! She had said. Mistake! The words cut deep into his pride and seared itself there.

“What is to stop me from telling everyone in this compartment right now?”

Lily’s head snapped up and her eyes flashed green. “If you’re so eager to announce it and get bashed by the two people you keep company with, go ahead. Just alert me in advance so I can grab some popcorn from the kitchens.”

As much as he wanted to wipe the look of smug triumph off her face, his rational mind knew that it was too much of a risk.

She pulled open her luggage and grabbed his broomstick from the pile of belongings. She thrust it toward him.

“I’m guessing you’ll be needing this back. Don’t want to lose another Quidditch match because of a less superior broom.” Lily sneered. “Then again, Slytherin is bound to lose to the Hufflepuffs, they’ve got Angie. You’ve only got expensive brooms.”

With that, she took her suitcase and left the compartment.

Scorpius gripped the handle of his broom tightly and stood motionless in the middle of the compartment. This was how Albus found him.

“Anything you want to talk about?” Albus asked hesitantly. He watched his friend closely as he bunched and unbunched his fist.

Scorpius looked around and noticed for the first time he was not alone in the compartment. He gave Albus a small nod and sat back down.

“I’m fine Al,” he muttered.

“Well, if you want to talk--”

“I know, thank you.”

Albus nodded and tossed a chocolate frog at Scorpius. “Here, have some, you’ve not eaten all day.”

Rose popped her head back into the compartment.

“Boys, we’re reaching Hogwarts, it’s about time you change into your school robes.” She lectured.

Albus rolled his eyes.

“I’ll change later, before we stop.”

“No, you do it now, Scorpius.” Rose commanded. Albus sighed. After all these years, he had learned to pick his battles wisely. He did not want to fight with Rose over something as silly as changing his robes. He got up to pull his suitcase down from the racks.

But Scorpius had other ideas. He raised his steely grey eyes and said, “No, Rose. I’m quite tired of you bossing me around all day like I’m your house elf. In fact, I cannot stand a minute more. Please leave.”

His voice was quiet but had a ring of finality to it.

“Are you--are you breaking up with me?” Rose whispered, her brown eyes flashed with a warning. Scorpius from the past would have cowered and started grovelling at her feet but the Scorpius seated in that Hogwarts compartment met her gaze with his.

“Yes.”

Dead silence. The remaining occupants of the compartment were at a loss at what to say. Albus  had stilled in his attempt at withdrawing his school robes from his trunk. He stared at Scorpius incredulously. Rose, on the other hand, looked as if she were about to burst. It happened in a flash but Rose’s expression morphed into a calculating one.

“Fine.” She had simply said, levitated her case from the racks and left the compartment.

Scorpius sighed and stood up to retrieve his school robes. “Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way.”

“I can’t believe that you--Scorpius “I’m so smitten with Rose Granger-Weasley” Malfoy--finally grew some brains.” Albus cheered. He gave a whoop and embraced Scorpius but they pulled apart quickly.

“I was really tired of being treated like a slave.”

“About--bloody--time!” Albus all but roared and cheered some more. “This calls for a drink!” He rummaged through his suitcase and pulled out two bottles of Firewhiskeys.

“A toast!” Albus announced. “Scorpius the house elf is finally free!”

Scorpius laughed and drank from his bottle.

“Knowing your cousin, I doubt it. But what the hell.” He took another swig from his bottle.

“We’ll deal with her when it comes to it.” Albus grinned. “Together!”

“As we have always done.” Scorpius gave Albus a smile and they toasted again. They spent the rest of the train ride struggling to get into their robes and drinking from the supply of Firewhiskey Albus had brought along in his luggage.

This explained why the two boys were a little tipsy when entering the Great Hall, grinning at their fellow housemates like a pair of gormless gargoyles. They had almost fallen off the Thestral-drawn cart even though they could see it. Scorpius had tried to climb onto it’s back, and Matt Zabini had to pull him back to his seat, much to Albus’ amusement.

* * *

 Meanwhile, Rose had found another stranger to ride to school with. He had intelligent brown eyes and was busy telling Rose of Communist Russia and Nazi Germany, and any other facts he had read over the winter break. He was desperately trying to impress the Granger-Weasley heiress with whatever knowledge he had gathered in his research of fascist and communist countries.

In all honesty, he could not believe his luck in being able to share a carriage with Rose Granger-Weasley, the Queen of Gryffindor, and possibly the entire school.

Rose turned to him, mid-sentence. She bequeathed him with a smile that seemed to make her radiate in the dark path that led to the castle.

“I need a favour from you.”


	5. And In A Matter of Seconds: Fell Terribly In Love

_Good things #4: Brightly knitted scarves. Trampolines. Knee high socks. Car rides and night adventures. How every day the sky looks different._

Lily looked up at the clock on the Gryffindor common room mantlepiece. It was twelve minutes to midnight. Lily watched the clock tick away the seconds. She was one of the few left in the common room and the only one not rushing their Potions essay. 

Lily had spent the past few weeks avoiding the Slytherin common room. This had forced Nat to leave the sanctuary of her dormitory and luggage whenever Lily wanted to leave another trail of dungbombs in Flitwick’s classroom or wreck havoc in the third-floor classrooms. Nat always did so with a sigh of resignation.

Scorpius watched from his seat in the Slytherin common room as Nat walked out of the common room every other night. Nat had a certain confidence in her strides and despite the fact she was a muggleborn in Slytherin, she managed to hold her own. She was after all the top in her level every year since her first year and quidditch Captain and Prefect.

How she managed to keep a good record while accompanying Lily on her pranks was a miracle to most who observed Nat. Then again, no one cared much about the tall Asian muggleborn.

They were both on their way to plant stink bombs in the Hufflepuff dormitories when Nat piped up.

“Did you know there was a muggleborn killing this morning?”

“I saw it was the headlines of The Prophet. Rose was reading about it. But it’s nothing, the War ended when my Dad killed Voldemort.”

“War doesn’t end with the killing of the figurehead, Lily. Ideologies and prejudices must change too, if not someone else will take the place of Voldemort and when they die, another will take their place.”

“There’s nothing we can do, though,” Lily stopped and stared at her best friend. “As much as I would like to change the world, I’m not Al or Malfoy, I can’t go back in time or invent some mindset changing device and wipe everyone’s memory.”

“No, but there are always other ways of being a hero.”

They were silent and continued down the stairs to the Hufflepuff common rooms. Crawling through the barrels were a bad idea, Lily accidentally dropped a pellet inside it.

“Let’s just hope we don’t die of suffocation whilst trying to get out.” Nat muttered.

“Oh tush Nat, stop being such a Debbie downer.”

They entered the Hufflepuff common room and to their surprise spotted their other friends carrying toy guns.

“Stop where you are and put your hands where I can see them!” Angeline cried, aiming her Nerf gun at Lily. Kavitha had her gun aimed at Nat, who put her hand up.

“Well, this is awkward.” Nat muttered.

The girls started to giggle and were soon laughing. The Hufflepuffs laid their guns down. They sat down by the fireplace and started to talk about how horrible their schedules were and how much they had to study.

“Hence, we needed to release stress by pranking someone.”

“It’s only Lily. But that’s because she has not one her Potions essay yet.” Nat pointed out.

“Why Hufflepuff? Why not Slytherin or Ravenclaw?”

“Because they’re nocturnal! Have you ever seen them sleep in that common room?” Nat piped up as Lily felt herself grow hot at the cheeks.

“I wouldn’t know Miss Slytherin top scorer.” Kavitha grinned. “Well, in that case, I feel obliged to help you.”

“There are two annoying boys who have been skipping quidditch practice.” Angie announced.

“They are a bunch of weirdos.” Kavitha added.

And so it was agreed upon that the fifth year Hufflepuff boys would be the victims of their latest stink bomb prank.

The four of them crept up the stairs of the boys' dormitories. Silently, they rolled the stink bombs into the room and laid the stink pellets by the door. Lily charmed a few wooden floorboards open and placed stink pellets in. They lined the closets and the bedframes, careful not to wake the boys.

By the time the boys woke up to the pungent smell of rotten eggs, the girls were already gone.

* * *

 Scorpius sat at his usual seat at the Slytherin table with Albus. Albus was reading his copy of the Prophet while Scorpius tried to fasten his arm pads before the quidditch match against Ravenclaw. He had a habit of glancing over at the Gryffindor table. People tended to assume Scorpius was still pining after Rose. Afterall it was Rose who had announced that they had broken up, and no one would believe it was slimy Scorpius Malfoy that initiated it.

“Don’t worry, Rose isn’t going to be there.” Albus said, watching his best friend. “She’s going to be studying in the library.”

“I wasn’t thinking about her.”

Albus gave him a pointed look.

“Well, you’re going to be just fine, Scorp.” Albus said, setting down the newspapers.

“The muggleborn killings was pretty bad, people are really shaken by it.” Albus observed. “People are thinking it’s the Purebloods again.”

“Doesn’t it get old?” Scorpius eyed the protestors on the front page distastefully. Especially since they had “Malfoy” written on one of the signs.

But he was soon distracted by Nat who had gotten up, with her sheep toy on her shoulder pads, and was making her way out of the Great Hall with her broom. She met Lily at the entrance and they walked off together. Lily rarely made an appearance at the Slytherin tables now. Scorpius could not help but feel a little disappointed. She was probably ashamed of it. Mistake, she had said. Scorpius tried to wipe Lily’s face out of mind.

“Eat up Scorpius, you’ve got a match to play. Against Ravenclaw, no less. They are a devious lot.” Albus pushed a plate of scrambled eggs with bacon to him.

In the changing rooms, Nat was pacing up and down, her sheep nowhere to be seen. She was dressed in her Quidditch robes, goggles strapped to her head. The moment everyone on the team was present, Nat tapped the chalkboard with her wand and the formations were drawn up. It was animated to show how the team was going to play in this season.

“Remember the Ravenclaws this year have got a strong trio of Chasers and would likely use that to their advantage. So it is up to me and Montague to hit as many bludgers to them, keep them off course. The rest of you, just focus on the game and remember to communicate with the team.”

They left the changing rooms and marched proudly down to the field. As he flew up, he spotted Albus in the stands, beside him was Lily and for the first time since he played his first match he felt nervous. Albus was cheering wildly while Lily made a gun with her fingers, pointed it at Scorpius and made a gesture of firing it.

“Don’t think about Lily,” someone spoke behind him. Scorpius almost fell off his broom. Nat’s hand shot out to steady him. “Just focus on where the Quaffle is. Captain’s orders.”

Scorpius turned around. Nat was looking at him, her brown eyes held a warmth in them. She gave him a smile.

“Get to know Lily better.”

“Sorry?”

“That’s my two cents. Perhaps with more knowledge comes understanding.”

“Right.” Scorpius looked at Nat a little confused, then he glanced at her with an impish grin. “You just want her to stop dragging you out of the Slytherin common room every other night.”

Nat laughed. “Yeah, that too.” And she flew off to take her place in the pitch.

And the game was on. Scorpius was doing a pretty fine job of retrieving the Quaffle from the opposing team. He and Diana Pucey were passing the Quaffle between each other and almost to the Ravenclaw hoops.

“SLYTHERIN SCORES! CHASER SCORPIUS MALFOY IS ON FIRE TODAY!” the game announcer shouted. Scorpius looked to Albus who was doing a mad dance from the stands. Even Lily was standing, leaning out from the stands.

“The Quaffles is in Ravenclaw possession, passes from Boyron to Tushnet and back to Boyron again. And Malfoy intercepts!”

He hoped Lily was watching.

“Teo has a hit a bludgers toward Boyron! That girl has got a mean swing.”

Boyron ducks the incoming bludgers and Bingham, the Ravenclaw Beater, had hit it right back to the Slytherin Chasers.

“Montague takes a hit to the face!” Scorpius saw his classmate falling quickly to the ground. Albus cast a cushioning charm just in time and Scorpius turned back to the Ravenclaw hoops.

“CARRY ON!” Nat was shouting, a flash of ruthlessness crossed her features.

“Flint looks like he has caught sight of the snitch!”

Scorpius raced through the throngs of players, Diana Pucey right behind him. He passed the ball to her as he flew past the Ravenclaw chasers.

Janus Macmillan saw them coming, he waited for them to come closer before launching himself at the two Slytherin chasers. Scorpius shoved him off hard and Pucey made a throw at the goal. There was a flash of light that ensued but the Chasers paid no attention. The Quaffle went through with a loud ding but no one was paying attention to them. They were focused on the boy that had fallen off his broom with huge patches of blood staining his blue robes.

Everyone was stunned. The teachers hurried him to the Hospital Wing, mending him as they moved him.

“Someone cursed him!” someone from the stands yelled.

“I saw them!” they pointed at Pucey and Scorpius.

Scorpius looked at Pucey. She looked fearful but not guilty. They had all left their wands in the changing rooms, they could not have cursed Macmillan. Nat flew over, her face a little bloody otherwise she looked fine.

“What happened over here?”

“Nothing, he came at us and we pushed him off.” Pucey said, almost in tears. Nat placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Okay, meeting back in our changing rooms.”

Lily and Albus had rushed over to the Slytherin changing rooms. The entire team was in an uproar. Albus walked over to check whether Scorpius was alright before checking on Nat. Lily was trying to head Nat’s cut as Nat paced about thinking. Before anyone could say anything Madam Hooch appeared.

“I wanted a nice clean game, now you had to play dirty and curse someone. Sectumsempra no less. For that, I am disqualifying Slytherin from quidditch games and all of you would be sent to detention.”

There were cries of indignation.

“But madam, they never did it.” Albus said. “I know the Slytherin players, they never would have brought their wands to the game.”

“Well then, one of you must have done it.” She eyed Scorpius and Pucey. “The Macmillan boy could not have cursed himself.”

Scorpius and Pucey rummaged through their robe pockets. To everyone’s surprise, Scorpius pulled out his wand. Albus looked at Scorpius.

“This is an outrage Mr. Malfoy!” Madam Hooch screeched. “Fifty points from Slytherin and detention for you Mr. Malfoy.” She huffed and left the tent.

The Slytherin team glared at him before shuffling out of the tent. Scorpius looked at Nat, afraid to see that glimmer of disappointment in his Captain. But Nat merely looked pensive.

“Believe me, I did not know how it got there.” Scorpius told Nat.

“I believe you.” Nat said, deep in thought. Then she looked at Lily and a look of understanding passed through them.

She took her things and left the tent with Lily. Lily looked back at him once but only for a moment before turning back to her friend.

Scorpius finally turned to Albus.

“I know you didn’t do it, mate.” Albus smacked Scorpius on the back. “But it makes me wonder who.”

“You know, I wouldn’t be surprised. I’m only surprised they took so long to finally try to get me expelled.”

“Not everyone hates you in Hogwarts, Scorp.”

“No, everyone but you.” Scorpius sighed. He picked up his things from the corner. As they walked back to the castle, Albus turned right instead of heading back to the dungeons.

“I want to see how Mcmillan is doing. I’ll meet you back at the common room.”

Scorpius nodded and walked back to the Slytherin common room.

He spotted a few students as he walked toward the dungeons, they whispered and eyed him suspiciously. Scorpius had not been used to feeling this way in a while. The outcast. He was not as popular as Rose, but he was comfortable being in some positive light for the past couple of years. Scorpius did what he did best, ducked his head and ignored the whispers that seemed to grow louder and louder as he retreated into the Slytherin common room.


	6. With The Way Her Loneliness Fell Softly

_Good things #5: Candy that crackles or pops in your mouth. Daisies and sunflowers and wildflowers. Great ideas that come to you in the shower. Handmade gifts._

The school was buzzing with rumours of Voldemort and Dark wizards in Slytherin. The rest of the houses avoided the Slytherin tables and refused to sit with them in classes. Barring a few, of which was Lily, who insisted on sitting with Nat in their Potions and Transfiguration classes. The look Lily gave the rest of the students was fiercely daring them to challenge her. None did. They had all assumed that Lily was taking pity on the muggleborn Slytherin whom she had picked up one day on the way to their first Charms class in her first year.

That spring morning, Nat had entered her Potions class early so as to avoid having to socialize with anyone else. Her fellow Slytherins were also in class, talking amongst themselves. They gave her a small smile as she entered, a common understanding passed through them.

Nat sat in front of the classroom, her head buried in her Potions textbook, annotating. A Gryffindor girl walked past and pushed the bottle of ink all over Nat’s parchment. Drops of ink splattered onto Nat’s robes and her green tie. Nat looked up and gave the girl and quarreling look, her wand was out and ready to shoot a hex.

“Oops! I am so so sorry.” She giggled, her friends laughed from behind. “I guess you need to get that washed. But I guess being a Slytherin and a mudblood, you’re already dirty enough.”

“Take that back.” Lily appeared, glaring at the girl. She had her wand out.

“Oh don’t pretend you actually care about her.” The Gryffindor rolled her eyes. “She’s just another charity case for you bleeding Potters isn’t she?”

Lily could not stop herself and hexed her with such force, she flew across the room and crashed into a shelf of ingredients, causing them to tumble all over her as she sprouted tentacles from her mouth and choked on them.

“Miss Potter! Fifty points from Gryffindor!” Professor Patil ran over to help the Gryffindor up. “I expected better of you!” She glared at Lily.

Nat was busy cleaning her parchment and her uniform with trembling hands. What Lily did not realize while she was busy hexing the Gryffindor girl was the fact that the ink had spelled “evil” and “freak” a thousand times over on Nat’s parchment and on her tie. The droplets of ink that had fallen onto the table had started to write itself into “evil” too. Nat quickly cleaned it up before Lily spotted it. She couldn’t risk Lily getting angrier or that small chance that Lily would become like the rest and avoided her too.

“Congratulations, you’ve just earned yourself detention with Patil.” Nat shook her head at Lily.  

“I couldn’t help myself.” Lily sighed sitting down. “I am so tired of how everyone is.”

“People are naturally prejudiced. They can’t help it.”

“Doesn’t make it right.”

“No, it doesn’t, but it explains a lot,” Nat said, looking at Lily. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” She patted Lily’s hand.

“What did I miss?” Kavitha burst in, late as usual and sat behind Nat and Lily. “I heard a lot of commotion outside. And for once I’m in before Patil is, which is saying a lot because I’m terribly late.”

“The usual,” Nat replied airily, with an air of nonchalance that she did not feel and quickly busied herself with rewriting the annotations.

* * *

 On the other side of the castle, Scorpius and Albus were hurrying along the corridors, away from the Ravenclaws who were pelting thestral dung at them from the Courtyard. Albus kept his shield charm up while they made their way to the library.

Shouts of “death eater” and “dark wizards” echoed through the hallway. Phrases like “shame of the Potter family” and “Slimey Potter” was cast around the hallways as they made their way to the pitch.

“It’s gotten worse.” Scorpius muttered angrily.

“No shit, Sherlock.”

Scorpius gave Albus a punch. Even their housemates were avoiding them. Most have retreated into their own dormitories and to themselves in the common room. If anyone thought the Slytherin common room was quiet before, it was even more so now. It was pin drop silence.

They had come to the library to borrow a couple of books for their research essay. They had agreed that they would not stay long enough in the library for rude notes to be passed to them or get slotted into their books while they were not looking. But as they were checking their books out, Albus saw a familiar figure of Janus Macmillan hovering in the corner, looking as healthy as he could be.

“I’ll meet you back in the common room, Scorp. Just want to say hi to Janus for a while.”

“Janus?” Scorpius queried. “Alright, don’t get into any more trouble on the way back Potter. You may be Head Boy, but not King of the school.”

Albus rolled his eyes and walked over to Janus Macmillan.

“Hi.” He volunteered.

“Hello Albus, I was just browsing through to see what I could use to write on my DADA essay on cursed objects.”

“Cool, what’s your thesis?”

“The time-dimensional relativity of cursed objects and a comparison to other magical relics.” Janus scanned the titles of the library shelf.

“Wow, tough, do you want help in locating material?” Albus asked. “Scorpius would be better at this but I’ll try my best.”

“Scorpius Malfoy huh?”

“He didn’t curse you. Scorpius isn’t one to curse people. He may look tough but he wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

“I suppose so. But I do not know him well enough to judge.”

“Scorpius is a really nice bloke, perhaps we could meet up sometime to study for N.E.W.T.s?”

“I’ll think about it.” Janus said, turning to Albus. “For now, let’s find material for my thesis, if your offer is still on?”

“Definitely.” Albus grinned.

Albus returned nearly two hours later to the Slytherin common room. Scorpius looked up from his half-finished essay and raised an eyebrow.

“Two hours to say hi?”

Albus turned red. “We talked.”

“I suppose it’s great to know that not everyone hates us.” Scorpius smiled at his friend. “Here, I’ve saved a space for you. I had to fight every other Slytherin in this common room for it.”

“Sure you did.”

Scorpius grinned. “I’ve got some pumpkin pasties for you too, just a pre-dinner snack.”

* * *

 Dinner went by quite smoothly, as it usually did, until someone begun choking. A Hufflepuff girl named Annabel Lee grabbed her throat, her eyes were bulging and her mouth frothed. If the students did not know better, they would have thought she was acting. But she collapsed into her plate of food and everyone around her started to scream. Slowly, other students were choking and falling from their seats. Teachers and Prefects scrambled to assist the students to the Hospital Wing.

By the end of the evening, a total of 13 students were poisoned. Madam Pomfrey worked through the night with a few Prefects to first staunch the poison and create potions to restore the 13 students to consciousness.

It was a horrid sight in the Hospital Wing, students were vomiting and coughing. Some were crying. A little girl was sat up in the corner, refusing to drink her health potion because she was afraid she might puke it out. Nat was by her bedside chiding her, rubbing her back, the way she remembered her siblings would when she was not feeling well.

“I don’t want to drink anything given to me by a Slytherin.” she cried. Nat looked around and accusatory looks were shot her way.

“Perhaps you’d better go,” Madam Pomfrey sighed. “Rousing them is not a good idea, especially since they’ve been poisoned.”

Kavitha took the potion from Nat and sat by the girl’s bed.

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” Kavitha said and Nat simply grunted in reply.

* * *

 “I can’t help but notice how everyone that was poisoned were either half-bloods or muggle borns.” Charles Trollop spoke up in the Gryffindor common room.

“And they were not from Slytherin.” his friend added.

“What the hell are those pure blood supremacists thinking?”

“Are they declaring war against us?”

“This would explain it!” A taller boy said, thrusting the Evening Prophet at the rest. “The ex-Death Eaters are being rounded up again for questioning.”

“Blimey, there has been another muggle-born killing.” Another said.

Lily sat at the edge of the common room, listening to the commotion whilst trying to complete her Transfiguration essay. She was too easily distracted and wondered what to do with her time instead. She twirled her hair in between her fingers and glanced up at the clock. She was supposed to meet Nat to raid the kitchens together but she figured Nat would be helping Madam Pomfrey in the Hospital Wing.

Lily packed her things and exited the common room. She figured she would do some late night snacking.

* * *

 Lily crept through the quiet corridors with a popsicle stick in her mouth, her wand in one hand and an armful of sweets in the other. Lily had learned to live without the Marauder’s Map since James had gotten it confiscated in her third year. The precious artefact was now under several protection spells and locked up in a cabinet somewhere in her father’s study. Nevertheless, a girl still needed to eat at night, particularly on a night where she had to finish revising five years of syllabi for her O.W.L.s, she had Filch’s sleep schedule, Peeve’s nightly school ruining rendezvous, Rose’s patrolling schedule memorised. But the distant pitter patter of footsteps proved her calculations wrong. Lily sped up, trying not to let her feet land on the stone floors too loudly.

Lily was trying to convince herself the footsteps behind her were not there and a figment of her imagination because she was sure this corridor would be empty. Yet the footsteps were getting louder and quicker too much for Lily’s liking. Thinking quickly, she ducked behind a statue of armor to hide from the wandering individual. But as soon as she settled behind the statue, a pale hand shot out and grabbed her. Her popsicle stick falling to the floor.

“Oh look what you’ve done! Ruined a perfectly good popsicle!”

“Quite the sneak aren’t you, Baby Potter?” Scorpius’ voice was soft and deadly. Lily could barely make out his silhouette in the darkness. It brought back memories of colder nights pressing next to him, trying to drown her pain in his warmth.

“Oh I wouldn’t know. It takes one to know another doesn’t it, Malfoy?” Lily snapped. “If you don’t mind, I’m just heading back to my Common Room.”

“Run along then Baby Potter. See you in detention on Saturday then.”

Lily stiffened. This was a low blow. The Gryffindor Quidditch practice sessions were every Saturday morning. It was the only time when the entire team could practice together given their various busy schedules. It did not help that Lily got into so many detentions this week that she did not have time to complete her work, let alone practice for the upcoming match against Ravenclaw.

“You wouldn’t.” Lily tilted her chin to meet his icy gaze.

“Watch me.” He sneered. Lily’s eyes flashed.

“Well, in that case, I may have to see what I can do to change your mind.” Lily stalked right up to him and stopped when they were inches apart. She could feel his warm breath ghosting over her face and the look of shock mingled with anticipation in his grey eyes. She allowed herself a small smile of triumph. This time it was Scorpius’ turn to still. Grey found green as he met her gaze with equal intensity, unwilling to be the first to blink and look away. She ran her hands through the hem of his robes, letting her fingers inch up his shirt collar and past the neat green and silver striped Slytherin tie he wore.

When Lily’s fingers finally made contact with the bare skin of his neck, he almost shuddered. She let her fingers feel the rapidly throbbing pulse while the backs of her fingers skimmed his sharp jaw bone. Scorpius had had enough. He took Lily’s wrist and wrenched it from him, pushing her back against the wall, he leaned down intending to threaten her but found that he could not for Lily had stood on her tiptoes and planted a soft kiss against his lips.

She pulled away but Scorpius’ kept her head inches from his. Cradling her scalp, he slanted his lips across her. It started with fingers interlacing with each other, her fingers in his hair, their feet in perfect alignment and their bodies moulded together like two parts of a whole. Lily pulled away and allowed him to mark a path down her jawline and neck with small kisses.

But her pleasure was short lived for something in Scorpius snapped. He pushed himself from the wall and away from the Potter heiress.

He swore under his breath. “You’re Al’s sister.”

Lily glared at him. “Well, thank you for stating the obvious.”

He wanted to knock his head against the wall but that brought him too close in proximity to the green eyed vixen so he resorted to giving the stone floor a kick for good measure. He was so upset with everything that had happened lately. He realized that it was, however, not fair that he was taking it out on Lily.

He found himself too close to her when she placed a gentle hand on his arm. Her hair was not so red, her eyes not so green.

“Are you alright?"

He took a deep breath and looked at her. “I’ll accompany you back to your Common Room.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I insist." He followed Lily out of the ground floor corridors and toward the East Towers where the Gryffindor Tower was situated. Lily glanced up at him wearing one of his signature brooding expressions.

“You know, for someone who falls so easily into sin, you are noble. Almost Gryffindor worthy.” Lily laughed at his expression. "With all honestly, I'm glad you're not in Gryffindor, I shudder to think what you and Rose would have done to desecrate the Common Room."

Scorpius gave her a quarrelling look. Lily chuckled.

"Oh tush! If anything, Christmas Eve was a life changing experience." Lily unwrapped a sweet wrapper noisily and took a bite off one of the taffy's she had stuffed into her pocket back in the kitchens. “Want one?”

Scorpius simply stared at her. She said it was life-changing. He felt a small surge of happiness within him.

He walked with her in silence while she munched on her sweets. The more taffy she ate, her hair turned a hue of rose pink. Scorpius found that strangely adorable. They reached the landing just a flight of stairs below the Fat Lady, Scorpius turned to leave.

“Thank you for walking me to the tower, even though Merlin knows I don’t need you. Honestly, you’re more of a hazard.”

“Oh really Baby Potter?” His eyes twinkled.

Lily laughed.

“Detention was an empty threat by the way.” Scorpius added and grinned at her. “Guess your seduction worked.”

Lily laughed again. Then she sobered up.

"Thank you. You don't know how much it means to me."

"I do." Scorpius gazed up at her. He was a couple of steps below her and they were the same height now.

A smile spread across her face and it seemed to illuminate her features and brighten the hazel in her eyes. She leaned forward to press a chaste kiss on his cheek before turning around and scoring the next flight of stairs. Scorpius lingered there for a moment longer, watching her burgundy hair disappear into the portrait hole.

"She's a gem, boy." One of the portraits whispered covertly to him. "Don't let her slip away." _  
_


	7. And Suddenly Asleep In His Chest

_Good things #6: Sunsets. Conversations that forge the beginning of a new friendship. Conversations at 3am. Conversations with people you’ve known forever. Big, wide windows._

As the weeks passed, the tension in the castle did not dissipate. Classrooms were quiet now. The usual pranksters stopped their jokes, no one said anything cheeky to teachers, people rarely spoke up in class.

News headlines reported ongoing investigations for the murders and investigations on the poisoning in Hogwarts. The longer the Ministry looked into the matter, the more anxious people were. Most of the thirteen that were attacked withdrawn from school and those that chose to stay were weary of everyone.

“Miss Teo, what are the effects of unicorn blood in the prolonging life?”

“Uh. I’m not sure Professor.” A few snickers came from behind.

Lily stared at her best friend. It was unusual for Nat to be behind readings.

“It prolongs the life of it’s drinker, at a terrible price. In 1994, Peter Pettigrew used unicorn blood along with Nagini's venom to create a potion which would create a temporary body for Voldemort, until he could regain his true body.”

“Yes, Professor.”

“You would do well to remember, Miss Teo.” She gave Nat a stern look. “An essay on illegal substances is due next Thursday on my desk. Late submissions would result in detention.”

Nat refused to look Lily in the eye. “I’m trying but I’m really burnt out.”

Lily gave her friend a hug.

“Looks like like Miss top of the class is falling behind.”

“Shut up Jones and make sure _you’re_ not last in class again.” Lily spat.

* * *

Scorpius Malfoy’s tawny owl, Noctua, flew into the Great Hall while they were having breakfast and dropped a letter onto Scorpius’ lap. It bore the Malfoy seal. Scorpius was a little apprehensive. His father did not send him anything lest it was important. Once last year, when Draco informed him that his grandfather had passed away in Azkaban. It was brief and lacked any emotion whatsoever. It was a short message, requesting for him to take time off from school to attend his grandfather’s funeral at the Manor.

Ever since his mother had passed away more than four years ago, Noctua rarely delivered messages to Scorpius. Scorpius remembered how his mother would pack him sweets and little notes. It was a pity that he did not keep most of his mother’s letters. But he did keep his first letter from his mother. Sometimes, he would take it out to look at, just to marvel at her penmanship and how much love had been put into writing every word. He could remember every word.

 **_My Dearest Scorpius;_ ** it had begun.

_Did I ever tell you that at age eleven I didn’t feel as though I completely belonged in Slytherin either?_

_I remember a time when being a snake was easy, back when it was a matter of taking opportunities instead of searching for them, because for us, they had never been denied._

_Every one of us back then was there because we wanted something, Daphne wanted her beauty to be worshipped, Theo wanted to own all secrets, Tracey wanted fame, Blaise wanted to be revered for his magical skill, Pansy wanted power, Vincent and Gregory wanted the glory, Draco wanted to make his father proud and even gruff Millicent wanted to be remembered in History books. ._

_Then there was me, I only wanted to be seen, my great ambition was to make people love me, notice me for who I was and adore me for it._

_But we were young, we wanted too much and yet not enough. Nobody told us the world didn’t owe us anything, our families forgot to warn us about the dangers of war while we played make belief and our generation of Slytherins paid for it by standing in the wrong side of the wand._

_But I still remember a time in Hogwarts when wanting to have the world wasn’t something to be ashamed of. Every house is beautiful in its own way and Slytherin might have the worst reputation but it’s also the house that will provide the strongest encouragement to follow your dreams, there you will find children your age who also know exactly where they want to go and who they want to be when history gets written again._

_My dearest son I don’t regret belonging to the house of ambition, you shouldn’t either._

**_With love, Your Mother._ **

But the letter in his hand bore no such lovely message. Instead, it was written in Draco’s crisp handwriting.

**_Scorpius;_ **

_This is just to inform you that I’ve been called to the Ministry for a hearing. I’m assuming it has to do with the latest series of Muggleborn killings. I will keep you updated through your headmistress, Professor McGonagall._

**_Your father._ **

Scorpius crushed the letter into a tight ball. He pulled the Prophet from across the table where Albus had abandoned it to finish his cereal. The headlines expressed announcement “Ex-Death Eaters rounded up for questioning by the Ministry”.

Scorpius slammed the Prophet down. Albus looked up, concerned.

“I know Scorpius, I read it last night on the Evening Prophet.” Albus looked at his friend sadly. “Perhaps it was a mistake on their part. I’ll write to Dad later.”

Scorpius said nothing. Albus gave his friend a pat on the shoulder.

“I’m going off to look for Janus.”

“How many times have you met this guy?”

“Well, he is helping me in DADA. Perhaps you could meet him too, one of these days.” Albus looked at Scorpius hopefully.

“No thank you, I’ll not interrupt on your studying.” Scorpius replied. “Besides, I cannot concentrate when I study in a group.”

Albus shrugged and left the Great Hall.

Scorpius pondered what to do with himself that Saturday morning. He found himself wandering the Black Lake and toward the Quidditch pitch. Lily Potter had her feet locked on the straps of her Firebolt X, both hands gripping onto the Quaffle, laughing.

“Lily! Stop playing around and pass that Quaffle to Molly.” Rose shouted from a distance.

Lily gave a twirl and threw the Quaffle to her cousin. It shot across the sky and landed in Molly’s waiting hands. She then caught it and tucked it under her arms while zigzagging before scoring.

Lily swept through the pitch and caught the Quaffle before it fell to the ground. She flew upward and threw the ball straight into the hoops on the other side of the pitch. It landed squarely through the hoops and Scorpius was amazed. Being a chaser himself, he admired the clean throw.

“Lily, concentrate on catching the snitch.” Rose commanded. “You’re wasting everyone’s time.”

“As you command you royal bitchiness.” Lily mocked a bow and flew off.

Scorpius walked on. He found a quiet spot at the edge of the Forbidden Forest and lit a cigarette.

He remembered how much his father had hated Azkaban and despite the short time he had spent there. Scorpius was livid with the Ministry. It was Albus’ father and relatives that had taken his father in.

By the time he was ready to head back into the castle, the Quidditch pitch was empty.

* * *

At about the same time, Lily had showered and was heading down to the Slytherin common room. The Quidditch practice this morning had left her with adrenaline pumping through her veins and she danced right into the common room but no one paid her any attention. The examinations were around the corner and everyone was busy cramming notes.

Lily walked down the girls’ dormitories until she reached the fifth year dormitories. Chloe Colt was lying on her belly, writing her essay.

“Hey Lily.” Chloe grinned. “She’s in the luggage as usual.”

“Wotcher Chloe.” Lily grinned back.

Lily knelt down by the purple luggage and tapped the top of it thrice. It sprang open and from afar she could hear Queen playing. _Another one bites the dust._ A fat sheep with four small hooves popped up. He was so furry that Lily could only see small blobs where his hooves were and his head was disproportionately smaller than the rest of his body.

“Hey buddy!”

“Hi Wilbur, may I come in?”

“Yes, it’s a staircase today. Nat took out the ring ladder after your last fall.”

“Brilliant,” Lily exclaimed in delight. “I can never see where I’m stepping in the dark.”

Lily stepped into the luggage and the moment she was fully inside, the luggage swung close and cut off all available light. But another light appeared at the end of the stairs which showed a sparsely lit empty corridor.

“IDENTIFICATION? IDENTIFICATION?” A Dalek appeared from the darkness. It was nearly the same height as Lily but size did not matter when it had a loaded gun, ready to shoot stunning spells at any intruder. It wheeled itself closer, the blue of its eye knob scanning Lily’s face.

“Lily Potter.”

“PROCEED.”

A brass door at the end of the corridor opened and a brightly lit room was in view. It was bustling with toys going about their activities. Sheepy, the toy sheep, was making a mini pillow fort with her sister, Vanilla who trying to adjust their pillow fort to make it a triangle. And in the corner, a teddy bear named Theodore was playing rugby with his other bear friends in a field of grass. He stopped to wave at Lily and continued to play. Bob, the Guitar, was strumming itself while the toys bustled.

Nat sat in a separate room, her face lit up from the laptop on her desk. She was typing furiously at her keyboard. The music had changed to Flightless Bird, American Mouth by Iron and Wine, playing softly in a corner.

“Hi, Lily.” She typed away. “I’m sending my sister a message, letting her know that there have been three muggle killings lately.” Nat like to connect to what was called a wifi and send her siblings messages through this strange medium. According to Nat, owl post was dated and she needed a more speedy platform for communicating with her family. On some days, Nat would even be doing something called a Skype with her family. Lily had remembered the first time she had seen it and she marveled at how amazing Muggle technology was and the girl in the thick glasses and kind brown eyes would still actively try to include her Muggle world in this magical one. 

“Send her my love. Send your brother my love too.” Lily said. 

“Mmm, she says hello and tells you to be careful.” Nat murmured, typing furiously. Every second there was a small ding coming from the computer. Lily got herself a bowl of ice cream from Nat's fridge. 

“Always am, Clare.” Lily set her books on the table, balancing her bowl precariously on top of them. 

“What shall we study today?”

“As if that mattered. We always end up studying on our own anyway.” Lily rolled her eyes at her best friend. 

Nat grinned. It was the first time Lily had seen her face break out into a smile in a while. Nat ducked her head and buried herself in her Charms essay, the stains of ink on her Charms paper was a sick reminder of the torment she had to endure during classes. 

“You know, if there is anything bothering you, you can tell me right?” Lily spoke up after a while, after watching the pained expression on Nat's face. Nat seemed to be stabbing the parchment with her quill rather than writing an essay. 

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me, Lil.” She bit out. Lily knew that when he best friend did not want to talk about something, no amount of wheedling would get information out of her. So, she decided to stay silent. They buried their heads into their essays. For the next half and hour, they were quietly writing away. Lily would occasionally refer to her books but Nat referred to her notes on her computer. 

“I wish my siblings left me notes too.” Lily groaned, seeing as Nat was almost done with her essay and Lily was barely half-way through.

“Well, at least your siblings are not overachievers like mine.” Nat sighed. She reread her last sentence and continued writing. 

“It was only Clare.”

Nat snorted.

“Hugo has been very quiet lately.” Nat gave Lily a look. “Unusually quiet. I’m worried about him.”

“Well, Hogsmeade visits are coming up. Just take him out and buy him a butterbeer, he’ll cheer up soon enough.” Nat brushed it off. Usually, Nat would try to reason with Lily on Hugo's behaviour but not that night. Nat was distracted, in a world of her own. 

They were silent for a few more hours, finishing their essays and other practice essays for the O.W.L.s.

Lily got up. “Time for me to get back to my dormitory.”

“You could bunk in here if you want.”

“Nah, then I’ll end up studying the entire night like you. A girl needs to rest.” Lily said. She gave Nat a hug and went out to say goodbye to all her toys. 

Lily emerged from the girls’ dormitory and spotted a familiar blond brooding in the corner, by the fire. He held a glass of Firewhiskey in one hand and with the other, held a copy of the Evening Prophet. Lily plonked herself onto the available space on the couch.

“Malfoy, where is my brother?” Lily asked in a dramatic fashion.

Scorpius raised his steel blue eyes to hers and downed the rest of his drink. “He’s out patrolling.”

Lily observed Scorpius. Her eyes darted from the Evening Prophet in his hands, the pictures of ex-Death Eaters, to the emptiness within Scorpius' gray eyes. She thought for a moment before a wicked grin spreading across her features. Scorpius looked at her wearily.

“What?”

“What what?”

“What now, Potter?”

“Let’s go raid the kitchens!” Lily suggested. Her green eyes fixed on his, an eyebrow raised. “Unless you’re too scared to.”

Scorpius rolled his eyes. He caught the look of distress in her eyes, so he sighed and got up. Lily’s eyes followed him, searching his face but his expression gave nothing away.

Scorpius gave Lily a small grin and Lily shot up, grabbing hold of his arm. “I hope you’re up for it Malfoy. You seem like the sort to follow the rules.” She was almost dancing as they headed toward the entrance of the common room.

“Try me, Baby Potter.”

Lily stuck her tongue out at him and laughed as they exited the common room and into the moonlit corridor.

The kitchens were situated near the Hufflepuff common room and as Lily and Scorpius rounded the corner, they heard footsteps coming down the corridor. Lily pulled Scorpius behind one of the suits of armour and clapped a hand to his mouth. If Lily could see in the dark, she would have caught Scorpius’ irritation as he peered down at her.

The footsteps got closer and eventually passed the pair of them. Lily let out a low whistle before sprinting down the corridor. Scorpius straightened his robes before following behind. He found Lily at the foot of a staircase, outside a portrait of a bowl of fruits.

“C’mon Baby Potter, don’t tell me you don’t know how to get in now that we’re here?”

Lily let out a laugh that floated through the stairway and into the darkness. She tickled the pear, which giggled and turned into a door knob. She pushed it open.

“Gentlemen first,” Lily gave a curtsey. Scorpius rolled his eyes and stepped into what seemed like a replica of the Great Hall, except there were heaps of pots and pans lining the walls and nearly a hundred house elves working. They bustled around, carrying utensils and cakes. Lily stepped in and the elves stopped their work to welcome her. They came forward, offering her sweets and pastries.

“Miss Lily, would you care for some truffles?” an elf asked, offering up a plate of freshly made truffles.

Lily beamed at her. “Thank you Winky! Don’t mind if I do.” She popped a couple into her mouth. “This is Scorpius Malfoy.” Lily gestured. The whole room went silent. Some elves gave him a look of horror, others simply avoided looking at him.

“He’s my friend,” Lily added firmly, looking at the elves. “Could he have some treacle tart please, Winky?”

The elves shifted uncomfortably but soon got to work. Scorpius sat awkwardly on a high kitchen stool, opposite Lily, who was eating ice cream in a delicate porcelain bowl. The elf, Winky, offered him some treacle tart, bowed and left hurriedly.

“I suppose it takes a lot of getting used to.”

“What? Being adored everywhere you go? Yeah, I’m sure it needs a lot of getting used to.”

Lily narrowed her eyes at him over the ever increasing pile of food between them. Winky offered Lily some pumpkin juice but she shook her head and Winky came back with a dozen bottles of Firewhiskey.

“Are you done with that?” Lily looked at his barely eaten treacle tart and hopped off her stool with the bottle of Firewhiskey tucked into her robes. “Let’s go then.”

Scorpius followed her out of the kitchens. The elves stared after him with a mixture of fear and apprehension. He could not help himself but said, “Look, would you give it a rest? I’m not going to hurt her.” before he doors to the kitchens swung closed.

Lily led him to a gap in the wall, and disappeared in. He followed suit. The staircase was narrow and musty which made Scorpius slightly claustrophobic. But he was soon hit by the scent of fresh air. He emerged from the staircase to find Lily sitting by the ledge of the Astronomy tower, taking a swig from her bottle of Firewhiskey, the rest of the bottles were stacked in a corner. He picked a bottle up and sat down beside her.

“Ever thought what it would be like?” Lily glanced at the stars.

“What?”

“To die.”

Scorpius was silent for a moment. “I don’t know.” He finally said. “But I know it leaves everyone who loved you lost for a while.”

Lily glanced at him. She rested her head against the stone walls. “Sorry, I know your mom died a few years ago.”

Scorpius was silent. They took a swig out of their bottles.

“There are many ways to die but remain physically living.” Scorpius whispered, thinking of his Father. He looked at Lily, who was currently staring off into the Forbidden Forest.

“You think?” Lily looked at him. “Is this about Rose?”

Scorpius thought for a moment. “No,” he answered. Scorpius was not even sure he loved Rose at all. Or vice versa.

“Rose can be hard to love. Believe me, I know.” Lily took another swig from her bottle. Scorpius snorted at that. Rose had never tried to perform legilimency on Lily like she did with Scorpius forcing him to tell her whether he had slept with this girl and that girl. He pushed the anger welling inside him down.

“Cigarette?” Lily took out a pack from within her robes. Scorpius took one stick and lit it up with his wand. He offered the flame at the end of his wand to Lily. They sat there puffing for a while.

“My Dad is in Azkaban.” He said between sips of Firewhiskey.

“For?”

“He, along with my relations, was suspected of killing muggleborns.”

Scorpius was silent. He tapped his cigarette off the side of the tower.

Lily stared up into the clouds that were lit by the full moon and back at her companion, whose hair shone silver in the light. His eyes were the palest blue and seemed to reflect all light back. He felt her gaze on him and turned to her, those ghostly eyes shifted its focus on the mass of mahogany red that curled around her shoulders and the strands that were caught in the wind. Scorpius had seen Lily Potter many times, but not this way. Not caught in the moonlight, with her freckles dancing across her nose and cheeks. He thought of Rose and how Rose seemed to radiate like the sun and Lily… Lily was captivating.

Lily took another swig from her bottle.

“Accio parchment and pen.”

“Pen?”

“It’s this cool device Nat gave me.” Lily caught the pen and parchment in her hand. “Look!” She gave it a click. “Then you use it to write.”

Scorpius eyed it suspiciously. Lily lay the parchment on her thigh and begun to write.

**_Dad;_ **

_Tell mom I said hello!_

_I read in the news that the Department of Magical Law Enforcement has arrested Mr. Malfoy on suspicions that he may be related to the death of three muggleborns. I just thought that after what Mr. Malfoy had done to protect his family as well as Al, you could put in a word to the Ministry to look to other avenues instead of dredging up Death Eaters._

_Just a suggestion._

_Love you Dad, I’ll see you soon!_

**_Lily._ **

Lily gave the parchment to him and Scorpius’ eyes skimmed over the words quickly.

“Thank you.” He meant it.

Lily charmed the parchment and it floated away to the owlery where Malach, the family owl was resting. She turned around to see Scorpius’ face just inches from hers. His breath ghosted across her face while his eyes searched her before she pressed her lips to his. Lily tasted of whiskey and chocolate, and Scorpius could not get enough. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close.

* * *

They lay on the wooden floors for a while, Scorpius pressed his lips to her temples. If heaven was a place, it would be right there, in her arms.


	8. He Crawled Within Her Outstretched Arms

_Good things #7: Clean, fresh sheets. Discovering bands that hasn’t been discovered by the rest of the world yet. The smell of the beach. Salt water. Cafes that have all day breakfasts. Books that get you._

Lily Potter spent an entire morning in her dormitory reading _War and Peace_ in the comforts of her own bed, and a feathered duvet wrapped around her socked feet. Lily liked wearing socks, even in the summer _._ Perhaps it was a habit. Lily thought about her rendezvous with Scorpius and wondered whether he was becoming one of her habits. She had taken to visiting the Slytherin Common Room of late, making excuses to see Albus and Nat but she had a sinking feeling in her belly that recently she was there to see the Malfoy heir who paid her little attention, if not at all.

Albus had been distant recently, Lily realized. He had been spending a considerable amount of time in the library or somewhere in the castle with someone Scorpius had begrudgingly called “lover boy” while they were on one of their kitchen raids. Albus had started to brood and sulk when he was confronted with queries about who he was spending time with. They would danced around the topic for hours before Albus ends the conversation abruptly.

Nat, too, was being rather distant. She spent more time in her luggage with her toys than she did in the company of actual human beings. And ever since Slytherin was disqualified from Quidditch, Nat had not stepped foot outside the castle. When confronted with the fact that she needed fresh air, Nat seemed to equate being out and about with exercise. To which she replied that she had a gym in her luggage and was exercising regularly.

What was wrong with these Slytherins? Lily thought. But she cleared those thoughts out of mind. She decided to look out of the window and at the cloudy Scottish skies and liked how the colours melded together as if in a painting. She would never have gotten a view like this in her parents’ home in London.

What Lily liked even more how peaceful it was, curled up on her bed and reading about Natasha Rostova. Nat had let her watch the BBC adaption of the book on her laptop once in the summer and Lily had fallen in love with the spirited character Lily James played.

It was the beginning of spring and Lily did not need to be outside to feel the change in the weather. The air was fresh and full of promise. Full of new beginnings, she thought. She took out a pen and jotted in her notebook. _Good things._ She pondered on what to write. _Books that get you._ She closed the notebook just as a figure appeared at the window. The figure disappeared from view and appeared again, this time only a mop of blonde hair and a pair of gray eyes could be seen. Scorpius Malfoy peered into the dormitory and made a face at her.

Lily set her book aside. She opened the windows to admit him in but he stayed out of the room. He was wearing his usual smart black robes with blonde hair combed back neatly. The Scorpius that she woke up to with disheveled hair and sleepy grin, who muttered sweet nothings into her ear as they kissed in the moonlight was a Scorpius that was let out occasionally.

“Well well, to what do I owe this pleasure Malfoy?”

“You didn’t come down for breakfast,” Scorpius said matter-of-factly, inspecting her to see if she was ill. Lily narrowed her eyes at him.

“I was reading. And writing.” She pointed at her notebook. Scorpius raised an eyebrow, he looked as if he was biting back a rude comment, instead, he took a deep breath.

“Perhaps I should come back at another time,” Scorpius begun. Lily felt a flutter in her chest.

“No! Come on in!” Lily gestured. “Welcome to the Gryffindor tower.” She grinned, stepping away from the window to let him in.

Scorpius hesitated. He perched awkwardly on his broom, his fingers curled tightly around his broom handle. Oh Merlin, what if he was here because something had happened to Al? Lily thought.

“Is-is anything the matter?”

“I-er-want to take you-er-somewhere.”

Lily started to smile. “Is this a date?” Scorpius fidgited nervously and Lily's heart soared. 

She had to stop herself from running to her bed. Lily had to remind herself to stay cool and tried pulling out her broom without letting Scorpius see how messy her trunk was. Her copy of War and Peace fell off the bed while she was jostling her broom from her trunk. She gave her book a sad smile. While she loved reading about Natasha Rostova, she would very much prefer the company of a certain blond boy who had flown all the way to the Gryffindor Tower to meet her. It felt like a fairy tale except there was no dragon and Scorpius was far from the stereotypical knight in shining armor, but Lily was content, this was her story after all.

Scorpius was still perched out on his broom, slightly pink in the face. “Err-I don’t know. Do you-if you-”

“Let’s go!” She pushed him out of the way and shot into the skies.

They flew over the castle and over the Black Lake. Lily swooped so low as to let the tips of her fingers skim the surface of the water. It was the best feeling in the world. Scorpius led them to a small corner of the Black Lake, just beyond the Ivy Curtain. It was full of lilies and they were shimmering in the colours of the rainbow. Lily stopped abruptly, admiring the sight of the little bank just by the castle. It was truly beautiful. Scorpius watched her intently for any sign of her displeasure but found none. Perhaps Lily was a great actress. But Scorpius reasoned with himself that no one could hide the mixture of awe and surprise in the upturned corner of her mouth.

Scorpius had chanced upon this host of lilies while he was out smoking, trying to clear his head one Saturday afternoon. He knew at once he had to bring Lily to this spot. Even as he did not know why he had to share this particular part of the castle with her, he knew it may please her. And for some reason, it pleased him to see Lily happy.

“Did you charm the Lilies to change colours?” Lily asked.

“Like your hair;” Scorpius replied. “I-I suppose no matter how many colours it takes on, a lily will always be a lily.” He stopped short a little flustered. And he looked slightly pink again.

Lily turned her head away so she could close her eyes to stop the little tear threatening at the corner of it. They continued across the Lake and onto the banks in silence. Scorpius deliberated on what to say to her next.

“And I wanted to give you something;” Scorpius muttered, turning a little pink. He took out a package. He opened it and wrapped in tissue was a beautiful necklace with a pendant of a full moon encrusted in diamonds.

“I-er-had my Dad send it over. For-er-you know-putting in a word-” Lily silenced him by giving him a hug. “Oh wow, okay!” He savoured the embrace, taking in the smell of her hair and how smooth her skin was as it made contact with his.

“How did you know my middle name?” She pulled away, much to Scorpius’ disgruntlement. He wanted to hold her for a little while longer. But Scorpius pushed all that out of mind. This was Lily Luna Potter, the princess of the Gryffindor tower and perhaps in the Wizarding world. He was merely the son of a former Death Eater, burdened to carry the weight of his father’s mistakes. Scorpius looked at Lily, her eyes were a beautiful shade of green, her hair turning a suspicious shade of blonde, but Scorpius saw none of that. Scorpius saw Lily, for her fiery wit and kind heart. He would not, for the life of him, allow Lily to carry the burden that had tortured him throughout his school life.

“I asked.” He said.

Lily looked at him for a long moment and raised her brow. He thought she was getting suspicious. Rose would have been. She would have prompted Scorpius and used legilimency on him. But the girl before him started to grin and unclasped the necklace.

“Allow me.” Scorpius took the necklace and clasped it round her neck. It was the most intimate thing he had done for a girl in his life, it was a parallel to the small acts of love he had observed between his own parents. He had often witnessed his father bequeathing his mother with a new jewel, placing a kiss on the back of her hand before leading her to the drawing room for a glass of wine. He remembered his father feeding his mother with broth when she was too weak to feed herself. He remembered the way his father would sit by her bedside, reading to her. Sometimes, his father would carry his mother to the lounge and set herself gently by the fire and play a sonnet or two. If that was not love, Scorpius did not know what else was. 

Lily placed a hand on his cheek, wrenching Scorpius from his thoughts. She looked at him carefully.

“Thank you Scorpius, I love it!” Lily placed a kiss to his lips. And honestly, her joy was all that mattered to him.

* * *

“OUR FOURTH QUIDDITCH MATCH THIS SEASON WITH GRYFFINDOR!” the announcer shouted into his wand. “AND… HUFFLEPUFF LED BY THE GREAT, THE AMAZING NAW ANGELINE!”

The cheers that ensued were deafening.

“ANGIE! ANGIE!” They cheered. Angie, the renowned Chaser of Hufflepuff, did a twirl on her broom. The rain had not dampened the Hufflepuff spirits in the least. They brought rain-repelling banners and draped them over the Hufflepuff stands.

“THE GRYFFINDOR TEAM! LED BY EMPRESS ROSE HERSELF!” The cheers from the Gryffindors on the other side of the pitch was a little half-hearted. After five years playing against Hufflepuff, they knew better than to bet against Angie.

Lily flew out with her team, her crimson red hair dancing in the spring breeze. Lily had dressed up for the occasion by morphing her hair red, her House colour. Lily was determined the catch the snitch quickly. She was not going to give Angie time to score too many points. She made a gun with her fingers and mockingly shot it at Angie who stuck her tongue back. Lily saw Nat and Albus in the Gryffindor Stands cheering.

Nat was wearing a dark blue Oxford University pullover with her toy sheep perched on her shoulder, it was waving little flags; one was red with an “L” painted in gold and the other was yellow with an “A” painted in black. Sheepy was already getting tired from holding the flags and was going to throw the flags away in a few minutes, hopefully not at someone’s head. Albus was wearing a Gryffindor scarf and a red beanie. Beside him was a pale looking boy with dark hair who was watching Lily intently.

Albus placed his hands carefully on his lap but throughout the match, but Janus kept finding excuses to nudge Albus. He would also lean in to whisper to Albus on what tactic the Keepers was using to keep the Chasers from scoring. At some point, Nat had had enough. She gave the boys a withering look.

“Boys, either get a room or watch the game.” She had said, looking at Janus and Albus pointedly.

From that point onward, Janus kept to himself. Nat grinned to herself, much to Albus’ displeasure. Albus was slightly annoyed with Nat for interrupting his conversation with Janus. It was harmless chatter. Nat thought they were gay, it was something that bothered Albus a little. He had caught himself thinking of Janus more frequently, often looking forward to their study sessions in the library and the conversations after. Janus liked to ask about Albus and his family and sometimes, Scorpius would feature in their conversation.

Albus sat there, no longer watching the game but focused on untangling the mix of emotions he was feeling. It was a complicated process and Albus was not sure he wanted to know what it revealed.

Then Nat screamed. She was pushing people out of the way and casting spells. Albus blinked, pulled from his thoughts and tried to find the number seven on the red Quidditch robes that were buzzing around in the field. It was too late, the figure was already falling from the sky.

 _“Arresto Momento! Molliare!”_ Nat cried, flicking her wrist while making fast wandwork. Her hands were shaking but she was doing a good job in aiming the spells at Lily.

From somewhere in the crowds, there was an outraged cry and the bludger that had hit Lily was incinerated into dust. Scorpius had rushed from the stands and onto the pitch where Lily lay unconscious. He tried as gently as possible to lift Lily into his arms. 

"No, no, please don't be dead." He whispered, checking her pulse. 

Scorpius' relief was as clear as day when he found her pulse. He could almost kiss her right there. But Nat was already by his side, her shaking pale fingers lifting Lily's hair up to check how deep the cut was. Scorpius was in a daze. He let Nat work on Lily because he was beyond terrified that he would kill Lily if he tried.

"Please... Please..." He was muttering under his breath as Nat worked at Lily's injuries. Nat was kneeling beside her, muttering incantations. The whole pitch was whispering. Rose had called for a five-minute break and was staring very hard at the blond from her position in the skies. It was a look of pure fury. Meanwhile, somewhere in the Stands Hugo Weasley looked upon the scene in pure horror.

Nat was already flying down the stairs when Janus grabbed Albus’ hand to pull him toward the pitch. Albus wanted to do many things at the same time. He wanted to yell at the Beaters and check on his sister and bring her to the Hospital Wing. Instead, he was taking the stairs down two at a time, almost falling from the second last step so he could get to his sister in time. Much to Albus’ surprise, Scorpius was cradling an unconscious Lily, if Nat had not told him to stay still while she worked, he would have been shaking. Albus watched the cut in the back of his sister's head and the blood that was dripping onto Scorpius' robes and thought he was going to be sick. But he stood there and hoped to Merlin Nat knew what she was doing. But something else struck him. 

“What are you doing?” Albus struggled to keep his voice down as he marched to where Lily lay.

“I’m trying to heal the cuts so she doesn’t bleed out, Albus;” Nat spoke up, glaring at him as if it were obvious and returned to her work. Albus circled them, he wanted to shove Scorpius out of the way but was afraid it would injure Lily. So he resorted to pacing around them. 

“Not you, YOU!” Albus thundered, glaring at Scorpius. Scorpius paid Albus no attention, he would deal with Albus and the whole circus later. He was slightly more calm now. With shaking hands, he lifted Lily's head to assist Nat in her healing spells. 

“Scorpius, help me carry her.” Nat stood up. “We need to go to the Hospital Wing to get proper medical attention. Can you do that?” Nat watched Scorpius carefully, her implicit question was clear. Scorpius nodded at her. 

Scorpius carried Lily while slowly getting to his feet, he looked at the tinge of blue on Lily's lips and was on the verge of getting a heart attack. Please don't die of something so stupid as a bludger to the head Lily, he thought. Albus gave Scorpius a withering look as the noticeably shaken Malfoy scion left with Lily in his arms. Nat trailing behind casting spells to ensure Scorpius did not drop Lily on their journey to the Hospital Wing. 

Rose watched from above, her hands gripping the handle of her broom tightly. She hunched over as if someone had stabbed her in the gut but straightened up just as quickly. She was not going to show the crowds how she felt. Lily… Perfect Lily with her perfect family. Lily, the Princess of Gryffindor. Of course, Scorpius loves Lily. Everyone loves Lily Potter! But Rose knew her for the attention seeking drama queen she was.

By the time Hugo had gotten to the bottom of the stands, Malfoy was already carrying Lily off in the direction of the castle. Hugo wanted to cry but he could not. His sister was probably watching him. So he trudged along the well-trodden path back to the castle. The further he walked, the more he thought about the whole incident. One thing was clear to him, Malfoy was taking Lily away from him. And if anything, Hugo was not going to allow that to happen. Hugo had lost Lily to Locks once, he was resolute not to lose her to Malfoy scum.

Janus and Albus trailed along. Albus was seething with anger and betrayal. Scorpius could not be with Lily. Albus swore to himself to never let his sister get hurt again and as he watched as Scorpius carry her away, Albus knew that Lily was going to get hurt. But this time, Albus would be there to prevent it. He would be there to protect her when he could not all those months back when Locks had used her. Albus made a vow to see that Scorpius and Lily did not see each other again. He cursed out loud as they walked past the Whomping Willow. Janus placed his hand in his and Albus forgot about Scorpius and the hurt he might cause his baby sister, and instead, his mind was centered solely on the warmth of Janus’ fingers entwined with his. Albus reveled in the silence that this touch brought. Even for just a moment.


	9. And Just As The Heaviness Leaked Away

_Good things #8: The ocean air, waterfalls, and nature taking its course. Morning markets and home made food. The changing of seasons. When you step outside in the morning and the air somehow feels fresher and crisper than during any other time of the day._

Albus Potter sat by his sister’s bedside and waited for her to regain consciousness. Madam Pomfrey had promised Lily would wake soon enough. He checked his watch once more. It has been 2 hours, 13 minutes and 42 seconds since Madam Pomfrey administered Lily’s potion.

“Stop stressing Albus, she’s going to be fine!” Nat said as she paced the length of Lily’s bed. Albus looked up and gave her a pointed look. Nat sat down with a huff and started tinkering with the potions on the table.

“Is she awake yet?” Hugo asked as he rushed in, behind him his sister Rose. Hugo had wanted to be there at the Hospital Wing when Lily awoke, hopefully alone, because Hugo had hoped that Lily would wake up and realize that Hugo was actually an amazing friend and cousin.

Rose barely glanced at Lily before turning to Albus, rearranging her features into a sympathetic smile. She ignored Nat and most especially her brother, who had planted himself by Lily's bedside. 

“I’ll be here if you need me.” She placed a hand on his shoulder and walked out promptly. Nat gave Rose an incredulous look, she bit down a rude comment but could not stop herself from uttering the next thing on her mind. 

“Well thank God she didn’t stay!” Nat exclaimed, looking to the ceiling as if truly thanking an omnipotent deity for Rose’s refusal to spend more than two minutes in current company.

“Don’t talk about my sister like that!” Hugo cried, stamping his foot on the ground, trying to imitate his sister's signature tantrum and failing miserably. But what he did not know was that Rose's tantrums did not work outside the Granger-Weasley household and definitely did not work amongst the occupants of the Hospital Wing now. “Stop being such a loser!”

“Well look who’s talking,” Nat muttered and rolled her eyes. 

“What did you mean by that?” Hugo demanded. He fumbled for his wand and pointed it at Nat gingerly, his hands shaking. Nat looked unfazed, she stood up and at a whopping five feet ten inches, Nat was taller than Hugo. Nat knew that very well and she tried to intimidate him into going away. It was working somewhat because Hugo looked terrified. 

“Oh, was I not clear enough? I meant that you are a loser, hanging around Lily all day like a sad little puppy.” Nat snapped. “Put your wand away, you can’t even aim straight.”

“Nat…” Albus sighed. Nat gave Albus a look of defiance but sat back down. She had no qualms insulting Hugo despite the fact that Lily cared for him and tried as much as possible to include him in her life. Hugo accepted defeat, knowing full well that with Nat standing guard, his plan would be foiled. Hugo looked on the verge of tears, he gave Nat a withering look before taking off, out of the Hospital Wing.

Nat sighed with relief. Dealing with the Potters were bad enough, she did not take to dealing with Lily and Albus’ extended family. To her, they were simply superficial in their affection toward Nat, an extension of kindness they presumed was fitting for Lily’s friend. It was apparent to Nat that they saw her as nothing but a Slytherin brat who simply wandered into sweet Lily Potter’s life and decided to stay for her own selfish reasons when Ron Weasley could not remember her name when she was staying over at the Potters for the fourth time that summer. But Nat was not too bothered with proving any of their implicit assumptions wrong. She was Lily’s friend because she loved Lily’s company, she thought. And, if she had the courage to admit to herself perhaps she took a little pleasure in being able to continuously beat her and the rest of the non-muggle born students at magic.

“I got her some chocolate from the kitchens,” another voice piped up, pulling both Nat and Albus from their brooding. Albus whipped his head toward the figure approaching Lily’s bedside. His blonde hair was disheveled, his robes still muddy and bloody but for the first time in quite a while, Scorpius did not care. His eyes flew to the red head on the bed, her hair was so dark it was almost black. Scorpius feared she was in a lot of pain but her features were calm.

“I thought I told you to go away.” Albus bit out.

“I don’t answer to you, Albus Severus Potter.” Scorpius turned his steely gray eyes on him. He was shaking with anger, not two hours ago Albus had called him Malfoy scum and told him to go away, Scorpius had sent a Bat Boogey hex his way but Nat had put a stop to it, asking Scorpius to cool off and get some food from the kitchens while she muttered the counter-jinx to Albus's face.  

Scorpius had walked the grounds outside the castle, getting a little drizzle in his hair and on his robes but he needed to clear his head. Albus thought him below Lily. But for a reason that he did not want to admit just yet, he did not want to stop talking to Lily. He remembered the way she had lay her head against his chest as they lay beneath the stars and the luminescent moon. He remembered he was listening to the sound of their breathing, it was almost synchronized.

"You remind me of mornings. When you step outside and the air somehow feels fresher and crisper than during any other time of the day." Lily had whispered in the darkness. 

Scorpius had let it play in his head over and over again as he walked the parameters of the castle. He remembered how furious he was with the bludger when it hit Lily as well as the Hufflepuff twit of a beater who hit it toward her. He remembered the panic seeing Lily lying motionless on the ground and how for a moment he had panicked because he thought she was dead. Scorpius had returned to the Hospital Wing hoping that Albus would have calmed down by then. 

Albus stood up and raised his wand to the Malfoy scion. Scorpius’ made a movement to raise his wand but decided against it. 

“I’m not going to fight you, Al.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“You stay away from her, you hear me?” Albus threatened, jabbing his wand into Scorpius’ robes, burning a small hole through it.

Scorpius was silent. He refused to budge. He did not know what it is he could respond with. The fact that he was going to love Lily Potter for the rest of her life? Or that he was never going to hurt her? He knew both were not, in any version of reality, possible. Scorpius also knew very well that whatever he could say was not going to be good enough to Albus. Perhaps only when Scorpius had carved out his own heart to reveal Lily Potter’s name carved into every inch will Albus then yield. Even so, Scorpius was not sure he loved Lily. Yes, he cared for her, but love? Love was something else entirely. Yet, he was absolutely adamant that he should not leave. 

“You two stop it right now before I add you to the patients in this room.” Nat marched over to stand between Albus and Scorpius. She may be a head shorter than the boys but her threat held a tone of resolution to it and both boys had seen what Nat was capable of and were not too keen on contesting it.

Albus sat back down and pocketed his wand. “If you ever touch my sister again…” Albus wanted to finish the threat but could not find it within himself to. What would he have done? He wondered. But he remembered the look in Lily's eyes when he found her Christmas morning and vowed that Scorpius Malfoy would not be a boy that Lily was going to sob about. 

“What then?” Scorpius challenged, infuriated. Albus was another sickening reminder that he, Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy, was not fit to wipe the dirt off Lily Potter’s shoes, let alone court her. 

“I will kill you.” It came out as a whisper but Albus lifted his green eyes to Scorpius’ gray ones and there was a finality in them.

“A bit too late for that.”

There was a flash of light and Scorpius was thrown to the far corner of the Hospital Wing. He had hit his head against the metal frame of one of the beds and was bleeding from a cut on his cheek. Scorpius quickly got to his knees but was hit by another hex that sent him sprawling to the ground.

“Cru-”

“ _Protego_ !” Nat cried. “ _Are you insane?_ ”

Albus glared at Nat and then at Scorpius, who was slowly getting up. Without a word, Albus turned around and swept out of the Hospital Wing just as Madam Pomfrey arrived, spluttering about not being able to leave them alone for a minute. Scorpius watched his best friend go and felt something sink in his stomach. 

* * *

“Hey,” Albus heard a soft voice enter his dormitory. For a moment he thought it was Scorpius but the Malfoy was probably still at dinner. Albus refused to move from his spot on his bed.

Janus Macmillan appeared, bearing some tarts and a bowl of mashed potatoes.

“You were not at dinner and I thought I would bring you something.”

“Thanks, Janus but I’m not too hungry right now.”

“It’s alright, I’ve cast a warming spell on it, you could eat it when you are.”

Albus stared at the tray of food Janus was holding and nodded stiffly. Janus sat by the corner of his bed and watched Albus carefully.

“Your sister is going to be just fine… You know that right?”

Albus was silent.

“Look, your mom and dad are not going to scream at you for the accident this morning.”

“He is going to hurt her.” Albus whispered while tears were threatening to spill from his eyes. “And I don’t know how to save her.” With those last few words, a tear slipped Albus’ eye, it trailed down his pale cheek and drew a path for more to follow.

Janus walked over to Albus with quick, sure steps. Cradling Albus’ head in his palms, he placed a gentle kiss to his lips. Despite the fact that Albus was worried about Lily, the moment Janus’ lips came into contact with his Albus felt fireworks exploding within him. It shot through his body like a bullet and made him see stars. Albus closed his eyes and pressed his lips against Janus almost fiercely, gripping the collar of his shirt tightly. Then reality hit Albus like a tsunami, leaving him cold and terribly alert. He was not supposed to be doing this.

Albus pulled away, almost tripping backward as he stepped back, shaking his head. Janus looked a little affronted, if not hurt.

“We-we shouldn’t be doing this.” Albus was shaking. This was so wrong. What was he thinking?

“Why not?” Janus asked, stepping forward. Albus hit the wall of the dormitory and jumped. “It’s not like we’re doing anything wrong!”

“This is _wrong._ I am _wrong_ and _weird_ for wanting to snog a bloke!” Albus slumped to the ground. “Please leave.”

Janus looked at Albus, disbelieving.

“Come on, Al. It’s not wrong! It’s just being gay!”

“I. Am. Not. Gay.” Albus whispered, it sounded like a plea. He buried his head in his hands. “Please leave.”

Janus looked at Albus for a moment longer, wondering if leaving was the best course of action. But he turned and left the Slytherin dormitory. He tried not to look conspicuous as he crept through the quiet dormitory room.

* * *

Janus walked along the deserted corridors from the dungeons, in the direction of the Gryffindor Common Room. He had someone he had to meet. The tapestries lining the walls were not bothered with his presence. He wondered if his father had felt the same growing up in this castle. Invisible.

But soon, that was going to change for him. It was already changing. He had the affection of none other than-

“There you are!” Rose Granger-Weasley appeared from around the corner on the seventh floor. “I’ve been looking everywhere. Report?”

“It is done.” Janus let those words spill from his tongue and did not care to wonder the implications of those words. He pulled out a potions book and handed it to Rose, in case anyone was witnessing this exchange. 

“Fantastic.” Rose beamed. “I always knew he was gay.”

“Phase 3 of our plan then?”

“Yes, we begin Phase 3. It’s time to take the last two things left from him.”

"Him?"

"I meant them." Rose looked at Janus carefully but Janus showed no indication that he took much note of her little slip. Instead, he focused on a topic closer to home. 

“And what about me?”

“You’ve done all you can on the Albus front.” Rose said. “It’s time to do a little persuading on your father.”

Rose turned to leave. But Janus stopped her.

“What about us, Rose?” Janus asked. “You said you would discuss this the last time.”

Rose gave him a passionate kiss and turned to walk away. “I’m busy now. We will talk about it, I promise. Only when we’re done with this then I would have the presence of mind to talk about us.”


	10. And Her Arms Came To A Tight Closing

_Good things #9: Pressed flowers and receiving things in the mail. The sound of laughter and the sound that typewriter keys make. Cactuses and Succulents because they almost never die._

Albus Potter sat on the edge of the Black Lake smoking his last cigarette, a lake where not too long ago Scorpius and he were trying to save an old man from his grief, or so he thought. They had lived through a thousand different universes, a thousand different versions of themselves. He wondered whether, in another universe, Scorpius and Albus would have been friends. But Albus knew that a thousand versions of him would have hated Scorpius for laying his pale hands on his sister. When Scorpius had dated Rose, Albus was a little uncomfortable but nothing more. Now of all people, Scorpius had to court his sister. 

He watched as streams of students walked down the path to Hogsmead but Albus was not going back home this Easter. He was staying at Hogwarts to complete his revision for his N.E.W.T.s. He had been very distracted of late, replaying his kiss with Janus over and over again. He wanted to shout at the world for being so unfair. The world had to make him a social recluse, an odd ball and now a gay man? Albus cringed. He felt the judgment of the world placed on his back the moment the thought crossed his mind. 

Stop it, Albus, you are not gay. He berated himself angrily, hoping to Merlin that long as he did not think about it, the prospect of being gay would be less likely. Janus had not made an attempt to contact him and he was happy this way, he did not need a constant reminder that he was wrong and strange. 

* * *

 

April saw Lily sat by the train station at Hogsmeade, ready to leave the school for the Easter Holidays. News had spread about her dating the Malfoy scion and there were reporters lurking everywhere trying to get a glimpse of the infamous child of the Ex-Death Eater with the youngest Potter. It was ludicrous because Scorpius had not spoken three words to her since she was discharged from the Hospital Wing. She contemplated taking out a cigarette to smoke but thought better of it. She knew the likes of Rita Skeeter would conclude something as ludicrous as Scorpius’ bad influence on Lily and how she has decided to turn rogue because of something as silly as smoking.

Lily looked at the tracks of the station and wondered why she cared so much when Scorpius had been making a conscious effort to avoid her the moment she was discharged. Nat had said Scorpius and Albus had a row in the Hospital Wing but neither one had wanted to speak to Lily about it.

Albus had told Lily to stay away from the Malfoy heir. He looked tired, with large eye bags and dark eye circles. And when Lily had asked what was wrong, Albus had simply told her to solve her issue with Scorpius and to stop sticking her head into his business. There was nothing to solve, Lily thought. They were just… Lily tried to give their relationship a name but could not. She wondered if she should characterise it. It was all for fun, right? They were friends who enjoyed each other’s company, snogged a bit. That was all. Friends. She wanted to go back to the castle to look for Nat, who was currently trying to finish her essay before she departed the castle for the holidays.

Lily instead waited patiently for her friends to arrive. To her dismay, Hugo was the first to appear. Lily felt a little guilty at the sight of him. He looked downtrodden and a little tired.

“Hey Hugo,” she managed a smile in his direction. She tried as best as she could to be cheery.

“Hey Lily, I didn’t know you were talking to me.” Hugo sulked. “After all, you’ve got Malfoy to talk to now.”

“Hugo…”

He was silent, staring at the ground at his feet. In that short span of time, he thought about how Lily comforted him when his mother had left for America, how she had promised that she would always be there for him because they were family. This echoed through his mind as it has done a million times before. Lily was his family, it kept saying.

Lily was there when Rose had acted distant, cold and demeaning. Lily was there when his father had retreated into himself, busying himself with work at the joke shop. And for the thousandth time, Hugo wondered if the next family member he was going to lose was Lily. He was determined this would not happen. How could it when she was the only person left?

“I thought I could talk to you about things.”

“You still can, Hugo, you know that.”

“But how can I when you’re not even _here_!” Hugo fought the urge to kick something.

“I’m sorry Hugo. I’m trying. But maybe you need to speak to an adult about your… problems.”

“I do not have problems, Lily.” He insisted. “I just- I don’t know! You don’t know how I feel because your parents are perfect! Aunt Ginny loves Uncle Harry a lot and even when they fight, they stay _together_! And you’ve got tons of friends who adore you and worship you. You don’t know what it is like to be alone.”

Hugo stomped off in a huff. Lily left her trunk where it was and ran after him. “I’m sorry I left you alone Hugo. But you’ve got to go make friends for yourself, talk to people in your house. Get to know them better.”

“I am not a sociable person Lily, you know that.”

“Because you never tried to be one!” Lily accused. “You assume I would always be there to attend to your every whim! I’ve tried introducing you to my friends but you’ve shut each of them out, I’ve tried introducing Diana Trot from our year to you but you said she was a bit of a tosser. I’m honestly so tired trying to help you when you don’t even want to help yourself.”

Hugo was silent. Lily added, “And for the record, my friends are my companions, my _equals_ , they _don’t_ worship me and honestly, I would never want them to.”

Lily walked away, seething with frustration. She walked back to her luggage and sat on top of her trunk and thought about what Hugo had just said. Perhaps, she admitted, she had been too hard on him. Lily had been rather distracted of late and had not been paying attention to the people closest to her. Nat appeared in her mind’s eye, and indeed, she just came into view. She was holding onto a few books and dragging a large purple suitcase. Her wand was tucked behind her ear and she was already wearing muggle clothes.

“Nat!” Lily jumped up. Nat looked taken aback.

“Did something happen?”

“Oh yes, but that’s not it.” Lily said. “Have I been neglecting you?”

“Err… No?” Nat gave Lily a strange look. “Did someone spike your pumpkin juice this morning?”

“No! I’m just… I don’t know Nat… you have to let me know when I am neglecting you.”

“Okay?” Nat was trying very hard not to laugh.

“I’m being serious!”

“I know that. But I’m not your pet Lily, I don’t need you to look after me or anything.” Nat said. “Did something happen between you and Hugo?” She eyed Lily suspiciously.

“You know, Hugo. He was accusing me of neglecting him.”

“Whatever la. Don’t care about him.” Nat huffed. She wiped the perspiration from her forehead. Lily started to grin. Nat tended to speak Singlish, a Singaporean pidgin of the English language, when she was impatient, occasionally letting slip a few Hokkien swear words coupled with a few Malay lexicon. At least Lily guessed they were swear words because when she questioned her, Nat claimed they were just exclamations.

“Stop smirking would you? One day I’ll jinx you into speaking Singlish for a week.”

* * *

The train journey was quiet with the occasional chatter on what topics would be tested for their O.W.L.s. Next to Lily, Kavitha was watching a Korean drama on her laptop, grinning at the screen. Ever since Nat found a way to configure their laptops to suit the magical environment, Kavitha had not stopped using it to watch dramas. She seriously was addicted, either watching something called YouTube or her Korean dramas. Nat was trying to discipline her toy sheep, making them sit all in a row and trying to keep them from eating her chocolates.

Facing Lily, Angie was browsing through several Quidditch magazines, comparing the reviews of the best brooms available. Reuben, Angie’s fellow Hufflepuff housemate, was dozing off in the corner while Chloe reading a muggle magazine on biscuit recipes.

The silence in the compartment was interrupted by a male visitor, for Lily no less. Everyone turned to look, except Reuben, who was unwakeable. Scorpius Malfoy, after weeks of trying to avoid Lily, had finally appeared in the door to her compartment. He tapped at the door.

“Lily? May I speak with you for a minute?”

Everyone turned to look at Lily and back at Scorpius. Chloe put her magazine down, ready to shoo him out of the compartment when Lily gave any indication she did not want to see the Malfoy scion. Nat was watching Lily intently. Even the sheep on her lap were looking at Lily intently.

“Please?” He added.

“A minute.” Lily demanded.

“Sure.”

Lily had to step over Reuben’s legs to leave the compartment. Outside, it was quiet. The Hogwarts Express journey was, for the first time in decades, a solemn one. People were still afraid of Ex-Death Eaters and now people are doubting pure bloods, believing that they were trying to eradicate muggles from the magical world. This rumour was starting to cause ripples of unhappiness toward both government and rich pure bloods in the country, the Malfoy family being one of them.

“What do you want?”

“I’m sorry.” Scorpius said after a moment’s pause. He had thought out a speech but at the sight of Lily could not remember a word he had planned to say. But offering an apology, he thought, was the best way to begin a conversation.

“Well, you’re forgiven. Goodbye.”

“Wait! No- um- I would like you to accompany me to the Easter Ball. My father hosts a ball every Easter for friends and family.”

“Wait a minute, you want me to go to a ball with you after weeks of ignoring me?” Lily glared at him. Scorpius looked a little sheepish.

“I-I needed to think.” Scorpius blurted. “And I needed time after… you know, Albus and I had a row about this. And I thought maybe you’d change your mind after what Albus said and stop talking to me.”

“I would never stop talking to you unless you wanted me to or if you were really a foul git.” Lily grinned. “Alright, I’ll go to the Easter Ball.”

Scorpius’ face brightened considerably. “You would?”

“Sure, it’ll be fun!”

“Here’s the invitation card.” Scorpius handed a thick card to her, it looked awfully expensive. But then again, the Malfoys never did anything by halves. “I’ll pick you up at 7?”

“Sure! I’ll be at home, in London.” Lily wanted to kiss him but she restrained herself. “I’ll see you.” She disappeared into her compartment, flushing with happiness.

“You look like he just proposed to you.” Nat commented.

“Oh shut up and play with Sheepy, Nat.” Lily grinned, unable to hide her joy.

* * *

 The Potters had an Easter celebration at their London house the next evening and invited the rest of the Weasleys to join them. Rooms were enlarged to fit the children and everyone was gathered around to celebrate the festivities. Lily’s room now had seven sleeping mattresses to accommodate Molly, Lucy, Rose, Roxanne, Dominique, and Victoire. Something which Lily was not too happy with but at her mother’s insistence, she agreed.

“Is it true?” were Lucy Weasley’s first words to Lily. “You’re dating Malfoy?”

“As true as the fact that Dragon Pox turns your face green.” Rose Weasley appeared at the doorway. “So how is it like dating a cheating piece of scum?”

“I am not dating him.” Lily snapped.

“Friends don’t go around snogging their friends Lily.” Rose gave her a look of pity. “Perhaps he’s just getting off with other girls, taking his time, weighing his options.”

Lily wanted to punch Rose in his perfect little mouth. Instead, she replied, “you would know all about that wouldn’t you?”

“How dare you? You little tart!” Rose stepped forward to slap Lily. But Roxanne appeared from nowhere and stopped Rose’s hand mid-raise.

“Why do I always have to prevent fights from happening?” Roxanne sighed. “At home, at Uncle Harry’s house, at the Burrow, in school. Give it a rest would you?” She directed her last comment at Rose.

There was a loud crash from the room across the hall and a lot of shouting. Roxanne sighed and disappeared from the room to check on Fred II.

“What’s going on in here?” Dominique strutted in. “Lily!” She embraced her youngest cousin, oblivious to the commotion. Rose was storming out of the room as Lucy and Molly ran after her, trying to comfort her.

Victoire breezed in next. “How is school Lil?”

“The usual.”

“I hope you’re not blowing up toilets or anything.”

“Now, why would I do that?” Lily grinned at her oldest cousin and ran to embrace her.

“Our Lily has grown up.” Dominique boasted proudly. “She’s got herself a boyfriend.”

“So it’s true?” Victoire asked.

“No-I don’t know. I-we have not talked about it.” Lily looked at her feet. “I guess we’re friends.”

“Give it time.” Dominique advised. “Take things as they come.”

Victoire looked around. “I’m getting too old for sleepovers.”

“Stay, please.” Lily pleaded. “If not it’s just me and the rest of them.”

“Yeah, stay ma chere sœur.” Dominique piped up. “You can live without Teddy for one night.”

Victoire rolled her eyes at her younger sister. She sat down behind Lily, just as she used to when they were little and started to braid Lily’s hair. As Victoire combed through her brown locks, Lily thought about the ball. “Could I-could I borrow a dress robe?”

“Whatever for?” Victoire asked.

“I-Scorpius invited me to a ball.”

“The Malfoy Easter Ball?” Dominique asked, her eyes brightened and she let out a low whistle. Then she added in a cheery tone, “I’ll be seeing you there, ma cher!”

* * *

Easter dinner passed in a usual Weasley-Potter fashion. Everyone was trying to talk at the same time, Grandma Molly was fussing over everyone as per usual, James and Louis were trying to prank Ron. Fred II sat in the middle of the table, awfully silent. Lily figured Fred and George had another row in the kitchens just now.

For as long as Lily had lived, her uncle George had always been a little stern, constantly nagging at the younger generation to stay careful, lecturing them about not getting into unnecessary fights for the fun of it, and more than once tried telling Lily, Louis and James off for pranking. He spared his son nothing when it came to disciplining him for misbehaving.

After dinner, Lily overheard Fred telling James and Louis that he was tired of being seen as a replacement for the late Fred Weasley.

“I’m tired of trying to choose between being his son and trying to replace his twin brother. Sometimes he wants me to be the former and other times, the latter.”

“Yeah, don’t, mate. You’re only going to drive yourself crazy.” Louis patted Fred on the back. “We’ll take care of the old man, won’t we James?”

“LILY!” Louis yelled and ran toward Lily. He messed up her braids. “What possessed you to date the Malfoy boy? Though I must admit, he is fun when he’s drunk.”

“Lily’s always been bullocks at choosing boys to date.” James announced.

“I. Am. Not. Dating. Scorpius!” Lily cried. “Louis!” Lily tried to escape his grasp. “Stop trying to rub a hole to my brain!”

“I’m trying to mess Victoire’s perfect braids;” Louis announced but he let his cousin go. “Anyway, catch you later cousin. James and I are going to prank Molly and Lucy.”


	11. He Whispered From Beneath Her Neck

_Good things #10: Swings, lamp posts, postcards. Stardust and the moon. Water and freshly squeezed juice. People who just accept you._

The Malfoy Manor had witches and wizards arriving every few minutes. Scorpius watched from his bedroom the number of relatives and his father’s friends that started streaming into the house. He paced around the room, wondering which dress robe to wear. He settled on dark gray dress robe that seemed to shimmer silver in the moonlight. He combed his hair back neatly and decided he looked presentable enough to meet Lily and the Potters.

He Apparated from his room and appeared at the doorstep of the Potter’s London townhouse. The door opened for him and Harry appeared in the doorway.

“Hello Scorpius, to what do we owe this pleasure?”

“Good evening Mr. Potter, I’m here to pick Lily up for the Easter Ball my father is hosting.”

“Oh, right, it’s tonight. Come on in then Scorpius.” Harry stepped aside to allow Scorpius entry. Harry looked more tired than usual. “I suppose Lily would be down soon.”

“Everything alright at the office, sir?” Scorpius asked. “I read in the Prophet that the muggleborn killings and the circulation of cursed artefacts has gotten your office in a huge uproar.”

“Yes, Scorpius. Bimey, talking to you is like talking to Hermione. And I’m not your professor, Scorpius, no need to call me sir.” Harry exclaimed, pushing his hair back from his face to reveal his scar. “And to answer your question: We believe they are all related.”

“I believe it’s all a ploy to change the social fabric of the wizarding world, uproot the purebloods from their rich houses and make them take the blame for the muggleborn hate crimes.”

“Interesting theory, Scorpius, but perhaps a little far-fetched.”

“Scorpius?” A voice came from the doorway of the lounge, her dark red hair was pinned up in a messy bun and she wore a pale blue dress robe, a pair of gloves in one hand. The necklace he had given her lay snugly on her chest, glimmering on her pale skin like it belonged there. Compared to the rest of his relatives, she would have been the plainest dressed there but to Scorpius, she could not have looked more beautiful than she did then. Scorpius was speechless. Harry cleared his throat and Scorpius looked toward Harry.

“Promise to bring her home by 11pm, safety, Scorpius.” Harry’s green eyes twinkled over the top of his round spectacles.

“Of course,” Scorpius gave a curt nod.

“Come now Scorpius, you don’t have to be so formal.”

“He can’t help it Dad, you are, after all, the Boy Who Lived and my father.” Lily grinned as she walked into the room to take Scorpius’ hand. “I’ll come back safe, don’t worry Scorpius about it. Love you!”

“You’d better come home. I’m not sending out a search party for you this time.” Ginny Weasley appeared at the edge of the lounge. Lily gave her mother a hug.

“I won’t, Mom.”

Ginny did not acknowledge the Malfoy scion. Ginny was still uncomfortable with Scorpius escorting Lily to the Easter Ball, and she had a suspicion that Scorpius had played some part in Lily’s behaviour the night of Christmas Eve and she would not forgive him if she ever found it to be true. But she knew it was not Scorpius that had pushed Lily to drinking and partying that night. He was, if not innocent, a mere bystander in Lily’s tirade at self-destruction. Still, she regarded Malfoy coldly.

“Thank you for having me, Mr. and Mrs. Potter.” Scorpius gave the two adults a small nod and lifted his arm to Lily, who took it happily and they apparated out of the house.

* * *

Lily stepped into the glittery ballroom of the Malfoy Manor. It was filled with sculptures and a band was playing a soft jazzy tune. People were chatting to each other everywhere, some were slow dancing on the dance floor, others were slipping champagnes. Women were laughing politely into their gloved fingers, decorated with diamonds and jewels beyond one’s imagining. Men were drinking fire whiskey from whiskey glasses with a gold band near the brim, along with a heavy, sculpted base. All were wearing luxurious dress robes, vibrant colours made of silk and satin weaved together in golden thread.

“You should see the Christmas Ball, it’s furs galore.” Scorpius whispered. Lily grinned, feeling her anxiety dissipate.

“I’ll take you to meet my father first,” Scorpius said. “Then I’ll take you around to introduce to the rest of my relations.”

Scorpius led Lily to the front of the ballroom where the older Malfoy stood, dressed elegantly in black dress robes, his hair combed back and tied into a low ponytail. He spotted them maneuvering the crowd and from his corner of the room observed the Potter who had seem to have given his son a new found interest at setting the stones for his future. His son had wanted to be a Healer like his mother but he had seemed to have lost that passion the moment Astoria had died. But it seemed as if the youngest Potter’s presence had given him a renewed passion in his attempts at becoming a Healer. He had written to Draco once, asking him to send him the names of the Healers that were very close to his mother and who were willing to take on an apprentice such as himself. It gave Draco much hope.

He attempted to welcome Lily to his home by bequeathing her with a rare smile. In times such as this, he had hoped that Astoria was still with him, she would have been able to speak to Lily, woman to woman. Scorpius looked at his father, a little surprised at the warm smile that was breaking out on his face, the lines on his eyes were slowly appearing as if finally emerging after a long slumber.

“Lily Potter, I presume? Scorpius has written about you but he failed to accurately express the extent of your beauty in his letter.”

“Yes, sir.” Lily grinned at Draco. “Thank you for inviting me to your Easter Ball.”

“It’s a charity event that my late wife, Astoria Malfoy, used to support, dedicating to improving the lives of orphaned children.” Draco declared proudly.

Lily did a three-sixty degree turn of the room and thought it was too extravagant for a charity, but then again, it was the Malfoys. Lily strongly believed Draco was not holding a Ball for the orphaned children, but to feel closer to Astoria. The older Malfoy’s face was lined with the pain he had to witness throughout his boyhood and the short spurt of happiness before he was to lose the love of his life forever.

“It’s amazing,” Lily breathed.

“Go and enjoy the Ball, don’t let an old man like myself stop you from enjoying tonight.” Draco smiled. He watched as the Potter girl left and remembered how Astoria had woken up one night and told him about Scorpius dancing with a red head. For the longest time, he had thought, with a sinking feeling in his gut, that it was Rose Weasley. But in light of recent events, he felt a little hopeful.

Draco watched from his perch by the large stone fireplace as his son twirled Lily Potter around the dance floor. She was fumbling and was a complete mess but it did not matter to Scorpius, he laughed and guided her through the number. Dominique Weasley, effortlessly beautiful, was dancing with Nicolas Montague next to Lily. She twirled over, gave Lily a wink and twirled away in a sparkling white gown.

Soon Lily lost her nerve and started to laugh at her mishaps and the pair were dancing in an awkward and yet endearing fashion. Draco, however, made a mental note to enlist a dance instructor if Lily were to become the next mistress of Malfoy Manor.

A slow dance number came on and couples were dragging each other to the dance floor. Scorpius used the excuse of the slow dance number to pull Lily close, reveling in how a turn of his head would place his face just an inch from hers. He did not mind that Lily had been stepping on his feet all night and they were starting to ache. And from the corner of his eye, he watched as the roots of Lily’s hair became blonde, Malfoy blonde to be exact. He started to smile, that night on the Astronomy Tower, Scorpius had woken up before dawn with a splitting headache. It was worth it because he caught a glimpse of the mass of blonde hair spread across his chest and torso as Lily slept beside him.

“What?”

“Hmm?” Scorpius murmured.

“You’ve got a silly smile on your face.”

“That’s because I’m dancing with the most beautiful girl in the room.”

“You flatter me.” Lily smacked his arm, she caught sight of a wisp of hair that had fallen undone and blushed, quickly morphing her hair back to a dark red.

“Now, you’ve gone and ruined my night.” Scorpius chuckled.

“Please,” Lily rolled her eyes. “Can you imagine me with Malfoy blonde hair?”

“I just did, Baby Potter.” He looked at her with a silly smile plastered to his features. “And you looked amazing.”

* * *

Mid-way through one of a dance number, someone screamed. Daphne Greengrass was kneeling beside an unconscious young man. People were scrambling about in a panic as the man’s mouth was frothing. He was slowly turning a little blue, and his face was morphing. Soon, there lay Bruce Dodger, a muggle born reporter who spent a considerable amount of his time writing columns for the Daily Prophet inciting hatred amongst the magical population toward the richer pure blood families. Daphne stood up and regarded the man with disgust and no one made a move to help him.

“The Aurors are coming!” Someone exclaimed. “Who made a report to the Auror’s department?”

“Get him to St. Mungo’s immediately,” Draco ordered, looking at his sister-in-law. “The rest of you, calm down. I will deal with the Aurors.”

“Well, well, what do we have here?” Ernie Macmillan appeared in the doorway to the ballroom. “Ah ah! Where do you think you’re going with the body?” He wiggled his index finger at Daphne.

“He might still be alive Macmillan! We’re getting him to the hospital.”

“I’ll ask my men to do it.” Macmillan gestured to two of his men and they promptly took him and left. “I must say I was never invited to one of your pure blood parties before, and what can I say, I am disappointed.”

“Macmillan, please allow my guests to their evenings and we can discuss this in my study across the hall.” Draco reasoned.

“No, I’d rather like to arrest you here and now.”

“NO!” Scorpius shouted. “He did nothing!”

“Unfortunately, boy, your father poisoned poor Dodger.”

“What did I miss?” Ron appeared, striding over to the scene.

“Uncle Ron!” Lily ran toward him. “Please tell this man that Mr. Malfoy had done nothing wrong! Mr. Dodger was trespassing and accidentally ate something nasty.”

“Nonsense Lily! This was all planned by ponytail over there!” Ron declared. “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to catch this slimy bastard. I would be only too happy put you in shackles too, if I could convict you of hurting my Rosie.” Ron glared Scorpius.

“No, please Uncle Ron, he did nothing I swear to it!”

“Then why have we found a mandrake root in the glass of Firewhiskey that Dodger was holding?”

“Someone else must have placed it there by accident!”

“I am arresting you, Daphne Greengrass, for attempting to poison Mr. Dodger, and you, Draco Malfoy for aiding and abetment.” Ron said pulling out his wand to apprehend Daphne but she turned around and Apparated away. Macmillan quickly Apparated with Draco to the Auror’s office and the guests were left a little disoriented and stunned at the events of that evening. They slowly Disapparated home, afraid that they would be next to get caught by the Aurors for the poisoning of Bruce Dodger.

Scorpius slumped in an abandoned chair and placed his head in his hands. Lily placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and Scorpius moved his hand over hers. He was lost at what to do, now that his father was most probably going to be in Azkaban for a few weeks while they investigated the situation.

He stood up. “Let me get you home.”

* * *

The pair arrived at the Potter’s residence and Ginny burst in to embrace her daughter.

“Oh thank Merlin you are safe!” Ginny had muttered. “When you father got called to the Ministry about the events at the Manor, I was worried that you had gotten hurt.” She patted Lily’s hair to make sure she was alright.

“I am fine Mom!” protested Lily. 

“Thank you, Mrs. Potter. I wish you both a splendid evening.” Scorpius took his leave of the Potters and left to return to a house that he used to hope was large enough to protect his family from the wrath of society.


	12. “I Do Not Feel Beautiful Much

_Good things #11: Feeling the wind in your hair, the beach at night, lying in a field of flowers. Good company. Making lists, wrapping presents and the sound of nature._

Scorpius Malfoy could not concentrate on his N.E.W.T. preparations and decided to go out for a cigarette. He stood at the edge of the bank of lilies that May afternoon, a place where he often came to ponder about what he was going to do. He realized he had to complete his N.E.W.T.s before he could help his father in any way. After an entire month, his father was still in a detention cell in the Ministry of Magic. The evidence that was found in the Malfoy Manor were not very incriminating and if Scorpius was right they were only allowed to detain suspects for forty-eight hours, but under the rule of the new Minister for Magic, Ernie Macmillan who took over after Hermione Granger-Weasley left abruptly for MCUSA not two years ago, all legal protocol was thrown out of the window.

His father and aunt and several of his father’s friends who had been children of former Death Eaters were once again detained in the Ministry of Magic for illegal gatherings and plots to overtake the Ministry. Scorpius had known it would come to that again. People were never going to change, he thought sadly. Scorpius used to think that he could change the world, make them stop being discriminatory toward people whom they did not understand, especially when he had made friends with Albus and they had saved the world from the Augury. But those sentiments had dissipated as he grew older when he realized how difficult it was to change set ideologies and mindsets.

He remembered as he walked through the corridors and staircases lately, people were whispering about Voldemort and Death Eaters and giving him and a few of his house mates pointed looks. If Voldemort were truly back, they would all have been too afraid to utter the name, Scorpius thought. He finally understood why so many turned to Voldemort when he rose to power. After years of being discriminated for being in the “cunning” house, the promises of a better future, one where they would be respected and even feared, was tempting.

The news reporters were hanging around the school grounds, hoping to catch a glimpse of the fallen Malfoy scion, perhaps get a quote or two to weave into their elaborate stories. Since the death of Bruce Dodger, the reporters were in an uproar claiming that they were not safe from the magical world’s version of aristocrats. This had led to a small uprising from the poorer families in the magical world in Knockturn Alley. They tried to stage a mini-uprising in Hogwarts, starting with a few insensitive comments from students across the hall and ending in a huge wand fight during dinner one evening before the exams. It had been quelled after the teachers cast a silencing and immobulus charm on all students.

Scorpius shuddered at the memory of Perkins trying to punch his way to grab a hold of Scorpius’ insignia ring, a family heirloom that was given to him by his father when he turned of age. Perkins almost chewed Scorpius’ finger off. It certainly ranked high as one of the most frightening experiences Scorpius had experienced in his life, right next to the Trolley lady in the Hogwarts Express. Ever since that incident, James Potter and a few other younger Aurors were placed at the castle to ensure the incident did not repeat itself again.

“Hey,” an achingly familiar voice whispered from behind him, Scorpius turned around to find Lily standing not too far off from him. He wondered whether the distance between the two of them was placed by his own failures or by the fact that his father was in Azkaban.

“Hi.”

“I-I just wanted to check up on you, see if you were alright.” Lily moved slightly closer. “Are you alright?”

“Truthfully? No, I’m not. But I’ll be alright.”

That was all it took before Lily covered the distance between the two and wrapped her arms around him. Scorpius breathed in the scent of Lily’s hair, the warmth of her body against his and tried to commit the memory of the way her body fits perfectly against his. He pressed his lips to her forehead and tried to convey his affection for her and his appreciation that she had come to keep him company.

“Tell me.” Lily insisted, lifting her head to his and placing a kiss to his jaw. “Let me help you with it.”

“It’s not your burden to bear.”

“But I’m bearing it anyway aren’t I?” Lily tried to catch his eye but he refused to meet her gaze. “Don’t keep it to yourself. Let me help you.”

“Another day perhaps,” gray met hazel and a silent conversation passed between the both of them. “Let’s get back to the castle, you’ve still got one more paper left.”

Scorpius wrapped his arm around Lily as they trudged back to the castle. Lily placed a hand around his waist, pulling him close.

As they made their way to the castle, a host of reporters ran up to them, bombarding the couple with questions. Lily handled the reporters gracefully, refraining from commenting any further on the investigations and the allegations against the Malfoy family and other old pureblood families. She politely pushed through the dozen reporters that surround them, snapping photographs of the two and badgering them with comments, hoping to incite them into commenting. Lily had to physically restrain Scorpius from lashing out in anger by keeping her arm firmly around his waist.

Scorpius kept silent throughout the journey to the castle, looking nonchalant and casually keeping his arm around Lily’s shoulders. But the moment the castle doors slammed shut behind them, Scorpius could not staunch the exasperation within him.

“Why didn’t you defend them?” Scorpius accused the moment they were away from the press.

Lily stilled under his arm. Scorpius had been sulking the past few weeks and Lily had tried to cheer him up whenever she could spare the time to but he had pushed her away, making excuses such as the need to concentrate on his examinations. And now this. Lily pulled herself free from Scorpius and turned to face him squarely in the face.

“These reporters would have misconstrued whatever I said to suit their silly little lies.”

“At least you would have said something.”

“Says the boy who has never had so much as an interview from any news media.”

“At least I know I don’t have to pull pranks to get attention from the media.” Scorpius pointed out, glaring at the red head whose hair was turning black and her eyes were turning more emerald than hazel by the second.

“That’s rich, coming from the boy who tried to turn back time just to save one dead boy from Voldemort.” Lily snapped.

“Yeah, go on, tell us more about what happened with the time turner since you’re so clever!” Scorpius hissed.

Lily fought the urge to slap him. Instead, she whipped around and disappeared down the hallway, to the Gryffindor Tower. She shook her head at her own foolishness. Perhaps it was in her blood. A weakness for the Malfoys flowed through her veins as much as it did with Rose and Albus.

Scorpius stood there berating himself for being a nitwit but was too proud to chase after the youngest Potter, instead, he resorted to making his way back to his common room to study for his last paper the next day.

* * *

Albus Potter sat in the library, with a pile of books before him but instead of making notes for his Charms examination the next day, he was staring out of the window at the reporters that formed a circle around his sister and Scorpius. He watched from above the protective way the two held the other, as if trying to shield the other from the pack of vultures that were trying to extricate some information from either one of them. Lily was the one talking to the reporters as they walked back to the castle. And Albus was brought to another conversation the sibling had in the kitchens one night.

Lily had dragged him out to have a midnight meal with her and they had decided to spend a few more hours talking about school and family before returning to their respective common rooms. Watching Lily eat from her bowl of ice cream, he thought if he could trust anyone, it would have been his sister.

“Lily,” Albus had begun. Lily merely nodded as she took another spoonful of ice cream. “I think... I think I am gay.”

He awaited the condemnation that he deserved, he was starting to feel hot in the face for his admission. He was a freak of nature. But Lily reached across the table to take his hand in hers gently.

“I’m so, so proud of you, Al,” she gave him a smile and tried to clear the lump in her throat. “No matter the sexual orientation, you’re still the same Al that took the fall for me time and time again, the same Al that let me sleep in your bed when I thought there were monsters under mine. And no matter what you love, I will always love you.”

Albus put his spoon down and walked over to his sister. He wrapped his arms around her, burying his face into her hair to hide the tears that had spilled over his eyes. Lily held him close to her and tried to give him the strength to face the criticism that the world would undoubtedly inflict on him.

“You say the most poetic things, Lil.” Albus laughed, hastily wiping his eyes. “What if it’s wrong? How far can you go down the wrong path before you can’t get back on the right one?”

“It is impossible to live without failing at something. Unless you live so cautiously that you might as well have not lived at all - in which case you fail by default.” Lily told him. “Something Aunt Luna wrote in her letters. She is quite insightful, you know?”

“But…”

“I think instead of hoping that the world would learn to love you, you have to find the courage to love yourself first.” Lily paused for a moment and stared into the distance. “I think we all have to.”

Albus looked back to the pile of books on his study table in the library. He pushed back his chair and picked up the books from the table. He had somewhere to go before heading back to his dormitory.

He scanned the library for a glimpse of Janus but the only boy who closely resembled Janus turned out to be a Gryffindor sixth year. Albus searched the castle for the Ravenclaw boy. But when he found him in an empty classroom on the third floor, Albus could not find the words to begin to express the swirl of emotion he felt.

“Hi,” he tried. Janus looked up, gave Albus a small smile and returned to his work.

“I was wondering about the other night--whether it meant anything?” Albus stammered, trying desperately to string a coherent sentence. He wanted to tell him in not so many words that that night had been replaying itself in his head over a thousand times, every time he closed his eyes.

Janus looked up from his work again. “No, it didn’t. It was nothing.”

“What do you mean nothing?”

“It was a mistake. Look, I didn’t mean to, I was probably drunk on something. Would it be alright if we both forgot about it?” Janus’ words dripped with foul inflection as they rolled from his tongue, and fell upon Albus’ cheek in salty stains. They clung to his lashes and stung with renewed passion, before reaching his lips which parted momently to taste the hatred pouring from the other boy’s lips.

Albus wiped his face hastily with the back of his hand and left the room quietly, not trusting himself to speak.

* * *

Draco Malfoy, in tattered robes after being locked in the holding cell for months, was dragged before the Wizengamot with Harry Potter presiding the trial. He looked like a dead man brought back to life, a shell of the magnificence of who he once was. The only thought Draco had was of Astoria and Scorpius and he hoped to Merlin that Scorpius was going to be fine since he no longer was able to see through the major milestones Scorpius had yet to accomplish. He looked up to meet the green eyes of his presiding judge and something passed through the both of them.

“Don’t you take pity on him, Harry.” Ron warned from the side, glaring daggers at the blonde man shuffling into the room. He turned to look at Ernie Macmillan and was confident that the trial was going to go smoothly. Whatever the Malfoy scum was going to say was not going to change anything. He may sway Harry’s decision but one against thirty individuals who were adamant that Malfoy goes to Azkaban did not make a difference.

Ron, once again, felt the ghost of glory days long passed replay itself again as he sat in the courtroom. The magical community had been rather lax, allowing these extremists to slip through their fingers. This had to change, beginning with the incarceration of Malfoy. Perhaps, his Rosie would find something deserving of love and respect within him when he was done in this courtroom. He felt like a drowning man, desperately trying to swim to the surface where the light was whilst the currents were forcing him downward.

* * *

Students were counting down to the last school day and last feasts they would have for the school year. Most students were outside, playing Quidditch and some were out soaking in the sunlight and fresh air.

Rose Weasley was walking down the corridor of the seventh floor before a hand clapped over her mouth and she was pulled into an empty classroom. Rose fought the urge to scream because to scream was to be undignified and Rose Weasley was never undignified.

“It was you!” Scorpius cried.

“What are you on about?” Rose asked indignantly.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know, getting my father sent to Azkaban just to spite me, you conniving bitch!” Scorpius yelled, unable to keep the tumultuous resentment from translating into hateful words.

“And whose fault is that!” Rose cried. “Your father was a piece of scum!”

A flash of light and Rose was thrown back a few desks. Rose shot another spell at him and he was sent flying into the chalkboard. Rose shot another spell and he lay panting on the floor, in pain.

“For the longest time, I glorified you. I worshiped you.” He spat out. "But you liked that, didn't you? You liked being worshiped." 

Rose looked untouched. She raised a brow and moved her wand to strike but Scorpius cast a shield charm, slowly standing up. They dueled in the room for a while before the classroom door slammed open. Lily and Janus ran in, Lily toward Scorpius and Janus toward Rose.

“STOP IT!” Lily screamed. “Both of you!”

“You’re ruining the plan!” Janus whispered to Rose, pleading with her to stop.

Lily gave Scorpius a sharp look. Scorpius lowered his wand but Rose took this opportunity to cast a curse on him. It seemed to happen in a blur as Lily ran between the laser beam of light and Scorpius and fell to the ground, choking on her own blood. And she was still. Lily took one last straggling breath and lay motionless in a pool of blood at his feet. It sickened him to think that it was his fault that she was lying there and as Scorpius watched Lily’s eyes close and felt his life drain out of his own body.

Scorpius let out a guttural cry, turning to Rose angrily. His gray eyes looked like the sky during a storm, a few tears trailing down his pale face. Before anyone could react, Scorpius had his wand raised.

“CRUCIO!”

Janus stepped between Scorpius and Rose and took the fall for her. Writhing in pain and Scorpius did not care. After he was done with this Macmillan boy, he would torture Rose and kill her.

“EXPELLIARMUS!” James Potter shouted, disarming Scorpius. He disarmed everyone in the room while the Aurors came into the classroom to restrain Scorpius from launching himself at James who rushed to Lily’s side to feel her pulse. Rose was beside Janus, making a show of checking whether he was alright. Janus was writhing on the floor, still screaming and curling himself into a ball.

“Take him!” James turned toward his partner. It took three Aurors to wrestle the grieving Malfoy away. He watched as James frantically sealed the wounds on Lily’s chest, arms and face and lost all will to fight the Aurors. Scorpius slumped forward and could not find the strength to walk.


End file.
